The Missing Gem

34 | Closure

Lucas

I wanted to get this over with. The fact that I was going to be talking to my ex was enough to make my stomach turn incessantly on the couple of hours leading up to five o'clock. That was the time we agreed on meeting for a coffee at Cup of Joe - one of the coffee shops located in the Santa Monica College campus, owned by... You guessed it: Joe. An old man who I got to know over these past weeks who owned this place with his late wife. And you guessed it again - they were both students at this exact college but their love for coffee spoke louder than any college degree.

"Thank you for meeting with me, I appreciate it." 

The golden band around her finger - also known as wedding ring - captured my attention in all the little gestures she did - when she pulled the chair to sit down, when she picked up the menu to choose her drink or even when she scratched her ear.

"No problem."

I would be lying if I said it didn't feel awkward between the two of us. 

I noticed she was having some trouble starting the conversation with me, and I decided to take the first step. "So, are you excited about going back to London?"

"Actually, I am." A small smile danced on her lips. "LA is pretty nice but there's nothing like home."

I agree with that statement, I just don't know if I agree with the fact that a city  is a home. I know for a fact now that a person is a home.

"Well, yeah... You've always loved London."

"As did you. Are you going back too? Once you're done with college, I mean."

"No." I nodded my head as my lips involuntarily pursed. "I'm staying here."

"For good?" Eyes opened wide and her mouth ajar was the view before me.

"Yes." 

"Oh... Well, I'm surprised."

No shit.

I took a sip of my coffee, hoping the caffeine would prepare me for whatever it was she had intended for this little get together.

"Wow, now I'm realizing what I came here to say makes no sense at all." She mumbled the words loud enough for me to hear them, and chuckled softly. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What'd you come here to say? You can still say it." I responded, a bit confused as to why the fact that I moved to LA would make any difference.

"I... I realized some things when I ran into you."

She had captured all my attention while she paused, and I starred at her, waiting for her to elaborate a bit more.

"God, I know how this sounds but I... I realized that the feelings I had for you never died. I still feel it all. All my old feelings came back when I saw you."

While my brain cells were still processing what she had said, my face turned white as all color drained from my face. However, I still managed to state the obvious.

"Sarah... you're married."

"I know, I know." She rushed to reply. "I know, and I know that this is incredibly wrong and unfair to you but I just had to say it. I had to let you know, or else I'd fly back to London and have to live with the biggest regret of my life for not telling you."

I took another sip of my coffee, although what I could really use right now was a shot of tequila. 

"Do you not love your husband?"