Afterward

Chapter Seven

Simon 

Shortly after Baz left to hunt, Agatha pulled me aside and asked if we could talk privately. As we walked into her bedroom and she shut the door I thought this was going to be something about how Baz and I are together. I was wrong. 

The look on her face scares me. “Agatha what is it?” I ask. She looks at me then sighs. She sits on the edge of her king size bed and stares me in the eyes. “Simon, after everything that happened last year, I had to get out. You know that. I learned something interesting before all hell broke loose and I think this is something you should hear,” she says to me slow and careful like something big is coming. “Okay whatever it is I can handle it; tell me,” I say.  

“At Christmas I went to spend time with Penny, just to hang out since she knew neither of us could be with you that Christmas she wanted to have some fun, Penny and I decorated cookies and we talked with her mum a bit about the Mage,” she says that last part slow and careful, clearly unsure of how I will react. I don’t so she continues on, “Penny’s mum went to school with the Mage. She said back then they called him Davy. She told us that he had a girlfriend when they were at school, her name was Lucy, but after school, she moved to America. I came here to search for her. I wanted to run but I wanted to know how to stay away. So, I looked. I did a ton of research and... she never came here Simon. Lucy has never stepped foot in America. I don’t know if she’s still alive but when I did the research something felt weird,” she pauses to give me a second to take all this in. I stare at the floor and wonder how it was possible the Mage had ever loved someone and never told anyone about it, especially me. He treated me like a son and I honestly never knew the man. 

Agatha stands up and walks to her dresser and digs around for something. Once she’s found it, she walks back over and sits on the bed. She hands me a photograph. “The one on the end is Penny’s mum, and that’s the Mage, Davy, on the other end. The girl in the middle is Lucy,” she says slowly, looking at me. I stare at the photograph of this young girl who has her arm around the Mage. The first thing I noticed was her eyes, they were bluer than any shade of blue I had ever seen. She never needed to smile with eyes like those. She has golden blonde hair that hangs at her shoulders and the longer I stare at this photo the more I begin to understand why Agatha is telling me this. I look just like them. 

Agatha

I wait hoping that he understands what I’m trying to say. Turned out that Simon was never the chosen one to begin with. So why was the Mage so sure? Why did he take such specific interest in Simon? “Agatha... I see what you’re trying to get at but it feels like your grasping at straws. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the Mage. Every word he has ever said to me is constantly in the back of my mind. Everything I ever learned. He was like a father to me and now you’re suggesting that he really was my father? And that this Lucy person is my mum?” he stares at the ground as he asks all these questions that I have no answers for, then he turns to me with tears slowly streaming down his face, “If you’re right and he was my father, then... why did I grow up alone? Why was I always alone?” The tears are no longer slow.  

I pull him into me and give him a place to cry, I owe it to him considering I caused this. Now I'm realizing that I made a mistake doing this, coming to him with nothing solid. I realized I opened the most painful wound Simon has carried. Not knowing who his parents really are.  

Simon 

I don’t really know why I started crying. Years ago, I made peace with never knowing who my birth parents were. So, I compose myself and I pull myself away from Agatha’s shoulder realizing how weird it was I was crying on her. We haven’t spoken much since everything that happened with the Mage so maybe this is going to be awkward. I wipe my face and turn to her, “Can I keep the picture? Just in case?” She nods her head, “Of course Simon, I'm sorry I brought this up, I just wanted you to know.” “It’s fine.” I say simply. And it is. I’m not mad at her. I think maybe instead of just lying on the couch like I was before we came on this stupid trip, I might look into this a little more. “Not gonna lie Agatha you’ve sparked my interest.” 

Baz 

“I'm hungry,” Bunce complains from the big chair next to me. “Careful,” I say, “You’re beginning to sound like Snow,” I say to her. She just sticks her tongue out at me and smiles. I sneer. “I could order us a pizza,” Shepard interjects himself into our conversation. “Okay! Pepperoni? Right Baz?” she asks. I turn my attention back to the telly and nod my head to show my disinterest.  

Shepard picks up the landline and calls some random pizza place. Once he’s done on the phone, he walks back over to the couch, sits down and says,” It’ll be here in 20 minutes.” Bunce look at him and smiles, he smiles back. I’ve been a little preoccupied with Simon the past few days so they don’t think I've taken notice to the difference in their dynamic. I have.  

Five minutes later, the door to Agatha’s room opens and Simon walks out followed by Agatha. I see his red puffy eyes and I know that he’s been crying. It takes every ounce of self-control I possess not to jump up and start with the accusations running through my head. Instead I just watch trying to catch Simon’s eye, and succeeding. He nods to me reassure me that he’s okay. I get up and go to the kitchen, just as Agatha tries to sit on the couch between Shepard and me. I fill my glass with water again because my mouth is dry.  

Every time I look at Simon, I see what I did to him. And the lie I've been telling myself about everything being okay when it’s not. I’m just a coward. With that realization I make a beeline for that front door because I need some fresh air. “Baz where-” I don’t know who I'm cutting off as I shut the door, but I don’t stop. I can’t. The last thing I saw was the confused look on his face and I had to get out of there. I was suffocating under the lies.  

I decide to go up instead of down. Hoping to god that this building opens to the roof and am so, so grateful to learn that it does. I take in a breath and am relieved by the cool, barely nighttime air. It’s fresh on my face and I can relax a little. I walk to the edge and take in the sights of the city. I pull myself up on the ledge and take a seat. Just to get comfortable. I look out and see hints of the ocean in the distance. I look below and see people absentmindedly walking past. I wonder about how easy their lives must be. No monsters or magic. No vampires or dead zones. No handsome boyfriends with dragon wings and a tail. I think about how easy it is to love someone. No extra complications. I hope for that type of normalcy for Simon and me after I tell him. Lucky me I see a shooting star and wish on it for just that.