🌼Vanilla Bean🌼

Chapter one: How it Began

C H A P T E R  O N E 

She was cute you know. Growing up you see movies, where the popular ones at school, are the hot girls. I was nervous to talk to her. Again, she was pretty. But I did. And she wanted to be my friend as well? I had just gotten to 6th grade but my self-esteem was already low. I followed her everywhere. I really wanted a friend, I got attached. She would hang out with other people and I would get jealous and sad because she had other friends besides me and I didn't have anyone but her. So I was lonely wherever she went to sit with someone else. I tried to make other friends. And I did, it just didn't feel the same without her. And so eventually we drifted at the end of 6th grade. 7th grade came and we didn't hang out. She really did have other friends besides me and so I didn't want to bother her so I let her be. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't be interested in me anymore unlike before. 8th grade came around and we started talking again. I really thought I wanted to be her friend because she was cool and so, again, cool people are popular. I thought she was going to make me make new friends and such. I wasn't wrong. She did become popular but left me behind. I never met her friends. Not even a hi from her friends when they came up to her and I was with her. But in 8th grade, we became close. It was nice! I had my best friend back again. You know what always gets in the way of friendship? Guys. And as this is so predictable, we both liked the same guy. And again for cliches, who got the guy? The pretty, popular girl. Man, was I jealous. Ahhh and the teachers even forced it? Like HELLO!!! I SAW HIM FIRST!!! Okay you know when you say you like a guy and friends have to back down because rules right? Well, I told her and she still went after him. Makes sense since we all knew he was never going to like me. And I let it happen, I didn't tell her anything. Because I still wanted to be her friend. At this point, I was getting into like same-gender love books. I kept wondering if maybe I was gay. I think I forced myself to like girls so I could be "different" and "unique" and "interesting". Stupid. Let me just tell you that I did that with lots of other things. I was so stupid. And so I thought about being bisexual. Made sense. And so I finally told myself that I liked this girl. I liked her all along. I would find excuses to hold her hand, play with her hair, and just look at her like a creep that I was. Yeah, I didn't want to lose her. We would hang out at her house. She was soooo cool. I can't believe I had just realized I liked her? I might have even loved her? 8th grade am I right? Haha

And guess what? My middle school was also a high school. And who did I still see? Cas. Oh yeah her name is Cassandra. We all know the typical nickname for her would be cassie but I watched Supernatural and started to call her Cas. She didn't mind. And omg you know my name also had a typical nickname but she made one just for me. I mean how was I not supposed to fall in love with her if whenever I was with her she made me feel special?

Anyways, high school. High school, high school, high school. It was a pain. The guy we both liked left. I was still in love with her. We still hung out. She got like 3 boyfriends* in 9th grade. I was cheering her on to keep going out with them. Yeah, I was a great friend. (*she did not date them at the same time... at least I don't think so) At this time she was so into 5 Seconds of Summer. I didn't like them because everyone else did (yeah I am that type of person). But man, Heartbreak Girl. I would sing that shit to her. Hahah imma cry. Honestly, I never told her I liked her but I don't know how she wouldn't have known. I did end up liking the band because she loved them so I would also listen to them.

Lyrics

You call me up,

It's like a broken record

Saying that your heart hurts

That you never get over him getting over you,

And you end up crying