🌼Vanilla Bean🌼

Part 4

C H A P T E R  4: B O Y F R I E N D S

I still check your Instagram. I feel like a creep but I can't help it, I want to know what you've been up to.

It's private so I guess I can't really find much information. Except that you are in a relationship. Congratulations. I see you have been together for a year now.

I remember the first boyfriend you got in sixth grade. I felt so stupid. You liked a guy, and then it was the school dance. I didn't go because I am such a loser I didn't have friends to go with. You went I guess. On Monday, I remember that I heard that the guy you like had gotten a girlfriend over the weekend. I told you that. And then you told me it was you. I felt so stupid telling you, like "oh guess what I know that you don't" but turned out you knew and weren't going to tell me. I thought we were friends. I kind of felt betrayed that day. I don't know why. Maybe because I felt like we weren't that close. Then after him, you had another boyfriend. This one you were obsessed with. You couldn't get over him until a few months after you found someone else to obsess with. The thing with you was that you thought you weren't good enough for them. You let them push you all for what? I don't know. I never asked you.

You even self-harmed for one. I had to take your blades away. You got more. I took them away. Unlike your other friends that didn't care, I did care. And I didn't want to see you hurt yourself.

Boyfriend after boyfriend, you lost yourself and let the thrill take over. I guess all I'm saying is that you changed. I just hate how you left me behind and only coming back once you were single and lonely.

The last boyfriend you had in high school lasted? I don't remember. All I remember is that you guys were always fighting and you were always crying over him. He was not worth it. Everyone saw that. You have to stop letting guys get to you because they don't even deserve you.

I am just hoping that this one is treating you better. That you only have happy days with him. I hope you don't do anything stupid just to please him.