MINE

Chapter 5 - I Know I'll be Alright

"I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight

I'll be lying awake counting all the mistakes I've made

Replaying fights

I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight

I'm on the mend, but I lost a friend

I'd apologize if I thought it might make a difference

Or make you listen

I'd apologize if it was black and white

But life is different

Just try to listen to me now"

***

Nick's P.O.V

Fuck... I just texted Sophie and I feel like shit. After my argument today with Mike, I thought it was best to just stop everything right now. But if that was the best thing to do, why did I feel so wrong?

This afternoon I woke up with Mike banging on my door before kicking it in and yelling at me.

"What. Is. Your. Damage.!?" He yelled punching me on the shoulder with each word.

It took me a minute to figure out what was going on. I looked around thinking I would find Sophie, but she was nowhere to be found. I sat up stretching my arms above my head, and he yelled impatiently again "Are you seriously going to pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!?"

"Stop with the drama ok Michael? I'm not doing anything. I barely woke up. I have no idea what you're yelling at me for...." I told him.

"Sophie" is all he said looking extremely disappointed "Why'd you do it man?"

That's when I realized he knew. I guess we weren't careful enough not to make any noise. Sue me for getting lost in the moment. I couldn't help it. I had been dreaming about this for months now, ever since I admitted to myself that I had actual feelings for this girl. And ever since then I've been trying to get closer without freaking her out and without annoying Mike.

I was planning on talking to him about it soon, I was just waiting for the right time. I never got the balls to do it, to talk to him honestly about my feelings for once.

He spent almost a year hiding Sophie from me, making up excuses for why I couldn't meet her. It really pissed me off at first. He wouldn't explain it either, but I've learned over these past 20 years of friendship not to push him. And when he finally did introduce us, he sat me down before she came over that first night and gave me a whole lecture like I was some kind of sex predator....

"Ok, so.... I'm not getting into too much detail. But this girl is amazing. As you noticed, she's become one of my best friends. I can't explain it to you right now, but we have a bond, and she matters to me. I really care for her, and I want to protect her like I couldn't protect Ellie."

Ellie was Mike's little sister, she was two years younger than us. She killed herself after getting out of an abusive relationship when she was twenty. That was five years ago and she would be the same age as Sophie if she were still alive. 

Mike still feels responsible for what happened, although I told him countless times it's not his fault. If anybody was to blame was the fucker who messed her brain up before killing himself. At least he was dead. I would've killed him if he hadn't done it the job himself.