18; ocean dreams

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「 am I adored?je suis votre amouram i your whore?cause you are the drug 」

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am I adored?
je suis votre amour
am i your whore?
cause you are the drug

myrkur; crown

h o n g j o o n g

The decision of kissing San had come so sudden, and driven Hongjoong with pure impulse towards his actions. Nothing else had changed between them, besides their lips touching while their bodies did the same - in that way Hongjoong convinced himself that it didn't mean more than that. It was just a kiss, and San didn't know the true meaning behind it - how it was the last of Hongjoong's defenses that fell to the ground, at the same time as the rest of his clothes.

But deep, deep down, Hongjoong did feel like something was different - and it was only a matter of time, before he wouldn't be able to deny it any longer. Maybe it was his own soft heart that couldn't help but feel pain, for the things that had happened to the person he had judged to be just a heartless playboy. He wasn't exactly the poster-child for a happy childhood himself, with a runaway dad and a crack whore mom - a bright future hadn't been quite written in the stars for him.

Even so, Hongjoong had always hoped things would turn out better for him, and he kept hoping so - even now when his life wasn't anywhere close to what he had wished for. In the end, the thing he wanted the most was for someone to love him. Mingi always told him he should stop watching all those romantic movies, which only portrayed a shallow and fake idea of what love really was, but Hongjoong couldn't stop watching them. They were a nice escape to his actual life, and even if it did hurt inside, he kept watching - and kept wishing.

Not to say that he was falling in love, or hoping that he would ever find happiness in the dark eyes that so intensely looked into his own in that very moment - but as their lips danced across each other again, Hongjoong couldn't deny how good it made him feel. Almost, as if his heart was skipping a beat.

"Don't you need to go to work?" Hongjoong mumbled in between the kisses, his arms wrapped tightly around San's neck as they lied on the couch together - and he secretly hoped that the answer would be no.

"I'll take the day off, and take you out instead," San mumbled back, leaving a soft peck on Hongjoong's nose, as he gently pulled away.

In the morning light, he looked stunning - there was simply no other way to describe it, as if the warm glow of sunshine softened everything about him. His smile seemed different, and it was the first time Hongjoong noticed that his eyes weren't just two black pits of nothingness - but in the right lighting, they were in fact a rich chocolate brown.

"Where should we go then?" he asked, playing with the locks of San's hair, which had curled up a bit during the night.

"You'll see. I have a great idea." 

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || sanjoongWhere stories live. Discover now