「 love is a burning thing
and it makes a fiery ring
bound by wild desire
I fell in to a ring of fire」♫johnny cash; ring of fire
✩ s a n ✩
Regret would only ruin your life, like a shadow in your mind following you every day to cause you harm - or so San told himself.
But deep down in his stone cold heart, a strange feeling had started to blossom. When and where exactly it had begun was uncertain, and how to get rid of it was just as big of a mystery.
San felt his mind keep drifting back to the days at the beach, with the evening sunlight falling around Hongjoong's head like a beautiful, shining flower crown. The way his delicate facial features would pull up in soft smiles and peachy blushes whenever San touched his cheeks, was something that was currently haunting San relentlessly.
"This is fucking ridiculous," he grumbled to himself, one Thursday at work where the atmosphere in the shared office was still uncomfortable after Seonghwa just paying a visit to it.
Jongho looked up from the papers at his own desk, shooting a glare across the room.
"What?" he asked, just as his eyes fell back to the work in front of him.
"Nothing..." San mumbled back.
To everyone else, the usual scolding from his older brother would be enough to explain his sudden outburst, but San knew the real reason why.
And he hated it.
With the second phase of his plan already set into motion, he did not have time to get distracted by sudden and unwanted feelings. Pushing his back against the chair, he folded his hands in his lap and stared into the room. Jongho returned to actually working, intensely staring at every page of the stack of papers.
Seonghwa had been acting extra smug lately, and the idea of what the reason might be, made San feel sick. Going to work was like stepping straight into Hell, and it only got worse by each day. Seonghwa would yell at San about every stupid little thing, and at the same time he would praise Jongho - something that had strained the bond between the two younger brothers even more, when they saw each other in the discomfort of their workplace.
San was on his own. But thankfully, he wouldn't have to look at the older's face much longer - if things just turned out as he wanted it to.
When everything was over, maybe he could try exploring the feelings inside of him - maybe he would finally know how it felt to care about someone other than himself.
Maybe he would...
Or maybe it was simply too late...
✩
YOU ARE READING
𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || sanjoong
Fanfiction[completed ] Choi San was too busy breaking everyone else's heart, to keep an eye on his own. And when a player gets played, things get messy... And possibly deadly.