I HATE THE LOVE. imagination.love.blood.death

chapter 1: SHOWER OF DRIPPING CANDLE

"ya enaṁ vetti hantāraṁ yaśh chainaṁ manyate hatam
ubhau tau na vijānīto nāyaṁ hanti na hanyate

This is said in Bhagavad gita-The song of God , those who think that the sole can be slain are wrong because the soul can neither be killed. It is immortal.

It neither feels pain nor any grief, as it can neither be cut nor burn. But still we experience pain in our whole life because of the deceptive cover of sole.

If you want to get relieved from your pain then I will help you, My friend."

After speaking this, I raised my hands carrying Knife towards my friend, who killed innocent me and my happiness, but suddenly a drop of burning candle falls on my hand.

I came out from my imaginary world into the real one in which I have burned candle in my room in order to take shower of liquid wax to get relieved from my haunted past.

I was sitting in the lotus pose in my trousers, and my half naked body experienced the heat of dripping candle. Each drop on my scars gave me memory of my pain, betrayal and thoughts of revenge and guilt. My past was moving in front of my eyes. My best friend's betrayal and his attack on my mother, death of my innocence, struggle I faced to earn and survive in this harsh world, death of my father, abandoned from friends and relatives, sexual attraction of my brother and my girlfriend, love proposal of my male best friend and my denial, living a lone life and others bad memories which bring hatred in me.

I remembered about all the incidents of my life which turned an innocent person into a beast. I killed many peoples, several times in my mind  and I am scared that might be one day I will kill someone in real. I hope this will never happen but I can't control my mind and my destiny. I never wanted to live a life which I am having.  I deserve a better life. I will try to not think of revenge again and I will be the happiest person of the world. 

Suddenly, my phone rang, I didn't want to take it as I was trying to recover from my painful past since past one hour. But it was from Vedika so I picked up.

 She said, " Rishi, She is not well. Her condition is deteriorating. Please come as soon as possible".

 I was trembling and my eyes were filled with tears. I put a shirt and took keys to move out. I took my car and then the mirror told me about the solidified wax on my face. I took a closer look and realized that my chest and other body parts are also covered with wax, I remove the wax from the face and then I moved towards the Fortis hospital, sector 62 in Noida.

It was around 11:30 PM, headlight was not working properly and my eyes were filled with tears. It was difficult for me to drive in such condition but I didn't have any option. I have to reach as soon as possible for the first love of my life. I was running like storm and suddenly I have to stop my car. I met with a small accident.

A girl came in front of my car and get unconscious. As it was very late, so no one was around me. I moved from the side of the girl but latter my conscience didn't allow me to leave her. I wiped out my tears and came out of the car. I lift her in my arms and put her in my car. I didn't want to help her, because of the troubles I experienced in my past. I hate my helping and kind nature because it always hurt me in one or other way. I hate my mom for giving me sacraments to help others no matter what. I realized of my mom's health and rushed towards Fortis Hospital.

I entered in hospital at about 12 o'clock and had completely forgotten about the girl locked in my car.