Why Even Try?

The Brother

    I opened the door to my house and rushed inside while slamming the door shut behind me. I leaned against the door taking deep breaths trying to calm myself down from what I just discovered and trying to catch my breath from running four miles with out stopping. I decided to skip my work out today and just write in my book. Usually when I'm stressed I'll work out and push myself as far as I can go, but today after running and the news that I just found out I just want to write and let everything out in that way.

    The house I'm living in isn't very big, but it's enough for me. I don't need that much space and I just don't see the point in having a big house if it's just going to be me. It's not like I planned on having friends and having big parties. I just want to live my life and be left alone. However, after today at school and on the way home I don't think that I'm going to be able to be left alone. If he doesn't want to resist the pull of the mates and he wants to be with me then I don't know what I'm going to do.

   What I want to know is if I have to move, where am I going to go? I don't have a plan for this and I don't want to have to make plans for moving again. I just want to live my life here and be left alone to be myself and just live. I couldn't do that where I came from, and now that I'm in Louisiana I want to be able to do just that. Unfortunately, I hadn't planned on finding my mate or him going to the same school as me. I don't know how this is going to work out or even if it's going to work out so I'm just going to have to wing it.

    I headed up to my room and pulled out my book that I'm writing and my pencil and then sat down at my desk to start writing. I wrote for about an hour and then I ate something, took a shower, and went to bed. Tomorrow should be an interesting day and I really don't want to see any of the stupid jock that I got as a mate.

    My eyes started to get heavy and I was dozing off when I heard a knock on my door. I groaned as I got up and went to the the door to see who disturbed my sleep. I opened the door and came face to face with none other than the head bone head himself. Listen to me, I don't even know his name and he's my freaking mate. This is all happening so fast and it's starting to get insane. "I really need to talk to you." He said with sadness in his eyes with a hint of hope.

    I tried to slam the door in his face, but he stopped it with his hand. "Go away, I'm tired and I really just don't want to talk to you. Please, I just want to sleep and if it's that important you can talk to me in the morning or something. Well, I'm going to try to sleep without having nightmares about the past, but maybe I'll get lucky. Although, that is very unlikely with how unlucky I've been my entire life. I mean, we all can have hopes and dreams even when our dreams turn into nightmares that are our memories." I rambled

    He just stood there and looked at me trying to figure out what I just said. "What do you mean about you having nightmares about the past? What happened that is so traumatic that it gives you nightmares? Please tell me I just want to help you and make you feel better." He pleaded. I looked into his eyes and I could tell that he was being sincere and for a moment I really wanted to tell him and just get it off my chest, but I knew that I couldn't. If I told anyone I would start crying and crying is a sign of weakness. I can't show weakness around people, especially if I don't know them that well and they end up taking advantage of me. I don't think that I can risk that, I have to know that person before I open up to them.

    All I did was shake my head and try to shut the door again. However, I still failed because he blocked it with his foot. "Listen, dude, I just don't think that you understand. I don't want to talk to you and I don't think that us being mates is going to work out. No offense to you, but you're a jock and I'm one of the Gothic, loner, freaks. We just wouldn't make a good couple. I'm really sorry, I'm not rejecting you because rejection is painful, trust me I would know, and even if I didn't like that person I wouldn't wish rejection on him/her by someone that they really like." I said.

    Once more I tried to shut the door, and it didn't close because his foot was still in the way. "What do you mean that you know what rejection feels like and why won't we work?" He questioned me. I looked at him and then I heard a car door slam and I looked behind him to see a black truck and my angry brother storming up the driveway. Oh, did I mention that my brother that also has anger issues and possessiveness issues lives with me? Well, if I didn't...surprise!

    When our parents died he took it the hardest because he was closer to them than I was. I always kept to myself even at home so I never know what was going on. My brother, Kyle, however was always in the loop and hanging out with mom and dad even though he is older than me he was always a loner at school and didn't get along with people that well. He reached behind his back and I instantly knew that he was reaching for his gun. "Kyle, don't you dare! He's a...friend of mine and if you shoot him I'll never talk to you again and I'll run away so that you won't be able to find me." I called out to him.

    "Fine, but get in the damn house and go to bed. You, pretty boy, you need to leave before I shoot you for trespassing on our land." Kyle yelled. He glanced one last time at me and headed to his fancy little sports car and left. I went up to my room and Kyle locked the front door so that we had a little extra protection. He turned to me and said, "Don't you bring boys to the house unless I'm here."

    "I didn't bring him here, he just showed up right when I was about to go to bed. I kept telling him to go away, but he just wouldn't listen to me. I tried shutting the door, but I'm so weak from being tired that I couldn't muster enough energy to overpower him. I'm sorry that I didn't fight him off though." I whispered back to him.

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