Why Even Try?

The sickness

    I fell asleep from exhaustion after crying so much and when I woke up I felt like I had been run over by a truck. My head was throbbing, my legs and arms ached, it hurt to support my head, I was nauseous, and worst of all my chest was hurting. My heart felt like someone was just tearing it apart slowly just so that they could watch me suffer. I knew that all of this was from not being with my mate, but I couldn't do anything about it. 

    My whole body just didn't want to move and my voice would come out as a raspy whisper. There was absolutely no way that I could go and see him, let alone tell anyone what I needed in order to get better. It wasn't like anyone would care anyways, I might as well just lay here and wait for my whole body to shut down. I deserve it anyway; I indirectly killed my parents. I still don't see how my brother has looked at me this long and forgiven me for what I have done considering that he was as close to our parents that anyone can get.

    The door to the room that I'm staying in slammed open and Dakota walked in. I gasped and my eyes widened in shock.  "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean any of it!" He screamed and walked over to me. He leaned down and hugged me while he sat down on the bed beside me. 

    "I didn't know that you were going to sick I just wanted to get my way. I didn't think that you were going to get hurt." He rambled. I just smiled at him and put my hand over his mouth when he pulled away from the hug. 

    "It's fine, I was a little selfish too. I'm just glad that you came back." I whispered. He smiled down at me and I smiled back. He started to lean in and his eyes glanced down at my lips then back to my eyes. 

    His lips brushed against mine and then our lips met and exploded into fireworks. My arms wrapped around his neck and my fingers curled into his hair as our lips moved perfectly together. Then he bit my bottom lip asking for entrance making me gasp from surprise; he took the opportunity to put his tongue in my mouth. Our tongues fought with each other and it felt absolutely amazing. 

    He pushed me farther down on the bed so that I was on my back and he was hovering over me and he moved onto kissing my neck. My fingers were still in his hair and I pulled him closer to me and a groan escaped my lips. Dakota smiled against my neck and moved farther down on my body.

    That's when I woke up and was gasping for breath. A cold sweat covered every inch of my body and my hair clung to my forehead. I sat up trying to get air to my lungs, but as I sat up I fell off of the bed and hit the hardwood floor with a thud. My whole body started to ache even more. 

    My heart started pounding faster and harder making it even more difficult to breathe. I flipped over onto my back and placed my hands over my heart trying to keep it from being ripped apart, but it proved to be ineffective. I was slowly tearing and all of it is because I can't see my mate and I'm not around him.

    All of this is my fault, just like my parent's death was my fault. Everything bad that happens can somehow be traced back to me. I didn't even want a mate in the first place. However, if I would've listened to my brother when he wanted to move somewhere farther away from home then we wouldn't even be in this position. 

    What I'm experiencing right now is something called The Sickness. It's what every werewolf has to deal with if you aren't around your mate for a certain amount of time and it's different for every pair of mates. It doesn't work as fast on the males because they are stronger, but if it's ignored for too long then both mates can die. 

    In my opinion I'm going to die. I'm not strong enough to go after him, and I don't think that Dakota is going to come after me. This is how I'm going to die: lying on the ground and trying to breathe knowing that I deserve everything that is happening. Good bye. That's when everything went black.