Only Us (Boyf-Riends)

CH.1

(Smoking in this chapter)

Today was the day that..well everyone has been waiting for. Ever since the SQUIP incident had happened, Jeremy and I had done almost anything to fix our friendship. Of course, what he did hurt me a lot, but I could never hate him. I cared for him, way more than I cared for basically anyone else. Before that moment, he was always there for me. The day I broke my arm after trying to bike down a hill, the day I had gotten my wisdom teeth removed and was put on that weird medicine and the day I came out. That day was probably the scariest out of any other moment. I didn't know exactly how he would react but to my surprise, he didn't even bat an eye. He just said,

"Cool, now, I'm gonna get some chips."

I had to repeat what I said, thinking he didn't hear me but he assured me he did, he just didn't think it really mattered. Ok, not the best wording but he just said that that doesn't change anything for him. I was his best friend regardless and that's when it happened. It hit me in the face harder than the one time Rich when he was rude towards Jeremy and me, launched a soccer ball into my face. And trust me, that hurt a lot. I was crushing on Jeremy, and that crush only got more and more strong as time passed. The thing was, I was kinda already starting to think I liked Jeremy. I liked everything about him. Soon enough, even my moms noticed it. And not too long after that, I realized it was more than a crush. Everyone kinda knew before I did apparently, even Mr. Heere. To be fair, I feel like there was a misinterpretation of words on my part, but his reaction didn't seem shocked. The moment he told me he liked Christine, I never felt more crushed. I did whatever I could to help Jeremy out, no matter how much it pained me. Even though I was head over heels for him, I still wanted him to be happy. If I wasn't the cause of his happiness, it was fine as long as he was happy. After the SQUIP incident, Jeremy had asked out Christine and she said yes. Obviously, it didn't make me ecstatic but it was the happiest he's been in a while so I put on a fake smile and helped him as much as I could. I tried to get into a relationship to get my mind off of Jeremy and that's when Rich came in. He had started hitting on me while I went to visit Jeremy in the hospital. I put all my focus onto Jeremy and making sure he was ok, I barely noticed Rich was there. That sounds horrible the more I think about it but it's true. Jeremy kept telling me that Rich had a thing for me but I was more focused on how I was getting my best friend back. I also didn't believe him because no one had ever shown interest in me before. Eventually, though, Jeremy was happy with Christine and I was content with Rich. He's a nice guy once you get to know him, but for a while, he didn't like Jeremy. He never told me why he just didn't. After a while, he finally started being cool with Jeremy and that was awesome. But things started to change between Jeremy and I but I couldn't tell what it was. Christine suggested that Rich and I went on a double date with her and Jeremy. I didn't want to go like at all. I didn't want to see Jeremy and Christine being all happy but in order to hide that I liked Jeremy, I agreed instantly. To my surprise, Jeremy was very hesitant to accept the idea of the double date but eventually, he agreed. Christine had planned for us to go ice skating. Now don't get me wrong, I loved ice skating but I still didn't really want to go. He had gone ice skating plenty of times, to the point where I was actually kinda good at it. I mean, I was no Christine but I was way better than Jeremy, who was a complete disaster the moment he even put on the skates. It's not like Jeremy and I haven't ever gone ice skating but he was just horrible at it and refused to stop hugging the wall every time we went. The moment Jeremy stepped on the ice, he was a danger to anyone around him. He started slipping and without even thinking, I grabbed him and helped him. I led him onto the ice and started trying to teach him. I had completely forgotten him and I was on dates with other people. At that moment, all that mattered to me was Jeremy. I kept fake threatening to let him go and he literally clung onto me as tight as he could. My heart soared at this. He told me that if I dared let him go, he'd tell my moms to ground me till we graduated. Obviously, that wouldn't have happened but I didn't want to let him go. I wondered if this was what a real date would Jeremy feel like, but then I felt awful. I was literally with Rich. He didn't deserve this. I was gonna have to break up with him soon, I just didn't know how to do it. It was eating away at me slowly. I knew it was a bad idea to date someone while I was head over heels for Jeremy, but I thought that the feeling would fizzle out After we went skating, we went to Pinkberry. Jeremy and I tried to see who made the best combination of flavors. I then looked at Rich and he didn't look sad, but he didn't look happy either. I tried to spend more time with him but Jeremy kept... well being Jeremy. No matter how many times I tried to joke around with Rich, he just didn't really get my jokes and they fell flat but with Jeremy, it was completely different. He would just keep adding onto it until neither of us could breathe. He was amazing like that, not that Rich wasn't amazing, he was, he just wasn't Jeremy. I didn't mean to be rude and leave them out, it just sorta happened. Rich was the one who picked me up and the car ride after ice cream was super awkward. I was about to apologize but he told me he didn't want an apology.