Whirlwind

13

[Lamarr]

The sun was just rising over the other penthouses adjacent to my own while the clock had officially hit the thirty mark after five. The scene I was witnessing, one so rare since I'm always cooped up in the comfort of a studio, reminded me something of the Manhattanhenge the city experiences a few spells a year. Though the sun wasn't setting the view couldn't be any more beautiful and conducive to the vibe I now had. A nigga was exhausted to say the least but I couldn't find it in me to lay my body to rest. Instead, I was pacing the floor of my living room while a medley created by Ron's piano keys along with an arrangement of guitar strikes and a bizarre sample from a Japanese band blared from my wireless studio headphones and into the depths of my ears. A damn near eight hour session took place just the evening before and this production along with two others were made in the process.

The amount of bliss I was starting to gain from the progression of this project couldn't be described. My team and I literally went from not having a clue what this era of my career would become of to having a list of concepts that the label would love. Though we were still being indifferent towards each other at the moment, Ib was ready to showcase them all at the meeting scheduled later this afternoon but I had something else I knew would be better. Not only because the framework of it was unlike that of my other projects or any other artist's for that matter but because it would call for us all to take a huge chance. There was a part of me that knew taking the risk I had in mind would leave a huge question mark lingering over the executives at the labels heads. I knew that they would think I was insane for even considering it but the optimal work ethic my team and I exhibited a countless of times might be the key factor to them giving it a shot.

As of now though, I was staying focused on completing the album before dishing my thoughts of how I wanted the marketing of it to go. That meant drafting lyrics, a person I trusted even after all this lost time, believed would frame my truth and even if they made people who listened a bit uneasy.

"I brought you niggas with me cause I love you like my brothers and your mothers like my mother, think we need a plan of action. The bigger we get the more likely egos collide, it's just physics. Please let's put our egos aside, you my niggas and should our worst tendencies turn us into enemies. I ho- I hope...shit." My tongue began to stumble over the rush of words that were rapidly flowing from my lips. I had got so wrapped up in this verse and the production behind it that I wasn't paying much attention to how hard I was going or how intense my voice was becoming. I'm sure it was louder than I expected, that or Melanie must have crept in here out of pure curiosity after her early morning alarm for work went off.

"Baby?" she mumbled while walking toward the couch only to sit on the arm of it. "When did you get home?"

The only reason I heard her question was because once I choked on the momentum of my words I took it as a sign I needed to take a break. That pause had me taking my headphones from around my head and mentally repeating word for word everything I had just rapped out.

"I've been here for an hour or so. I didn't wake you up right?"

"No," she said while rubbing her scarcely open eyes. "My alarm clock woke me up but then I heard you in here. I haven't heard you go at a verse like that in a while."

"Yeah, well something happened. I'm not sure what it was but I finished this song the other day and now I feel revived. What I have envisioned for this new record I feel will shift shit in my career but as well as hip hop. I mean that in a good way too."

"Well I'm glad you're feeling this way baby. I knew all along you'd figure out what it was you needed to get your focus readjusted."

"I did too."

The truth was this all kind of happened out of the blue. I would still be a stick in the mud if it weren't for, what I suppose, was the help of Riley. I always thought of her as some kind of redeemer. She had a way of making the most unpleasant situations suitable while I internally awaited for them to become disasters. I'm not sure if it was the tone she spoke to me in, the words she used or just the fact that I knew she genuinely meant everything she said, but it all leveled me. Unless it were obvious from my actions, I never admitted to people when I was under pressure. When I felt like the drastic changes my career handed me felt unbearable. I wore the world's meanest poker face and walked around as if everything was good but when no one noticed or dared to pick at my façade because they knew whatever I was likely dealing with I'd get over, Riley did. She'd get to the root of my problems and advise accordingly. Riley knew when I needed sentiments and when I needed her foot lodged up my ass. She peeped when I was feeling myself and brought me down several notches. All the time in my new found lifestyle and career that didn't include her presence had gotten to me. I became so lost in my ways to the point I wasn't sure if I could come out from them but something about what Riley told me the other day in that session has me now thinking otherwise. It has me doing otherwise too.

"Since I'm up and about to make my breakfast and lunch for the day, you want me to fix you something to eat too?" Mel was now heading into the kitchen while I followed behind her with my iPod in hand.

"That would be clutch, then I can get some rest before my meeting later."

"Meeting with the label?"

"Yep, they want to know where I'm at with the project and what needs to be done as far as advertisement, releasing a single and all that shit I hate so much." Melanie glanced over at me and frowned as she began grabbing ingredients from the fridge. The change of inflection behind my comment must have drawn her attention.