Whirlwind

34

[Riley]

For a split second I didn't even hear anyone speaking to me. All that was amplifying my ears was the faded out sample of RAMP's Daylight streaming aside a set of drums, and the echoes of Q-Tip's unique and unmistakable voice rapping his second verse of Bonita Applebum over it. I hadn't quite kept track of time since I clocked in but I was sure A Tribe Called Quest had been playing for the last forty minutes and I was sure morning had proceeded me. My attention was far removed from any and everything surrounding me and it only focused on the MacBook illuminated on my desk with a half ass article plastered across it.

My mind was drawing blanks as I called myself burying it into all the possible nouns, verbs, and adjectives that would pad and make it this elaborate article on none other than the legendary Nas himself. The interview covering his upcoming album and business ventures I was able to schedule, and in his words 'killed like I had been doing this shit for years' had been transcribed, yet I couldn't convert it into something worth reading. I refuse to just throw anything together and put not only my reputation but XXL's on the line, and I wouldn't dare embarrass a man of his caliber. So until I got this right and in a way that I was wholly pleased with, I wouldn't leave this desk. The messed up thing about that was as much as I had been trying all this time, I was coming up short. Maybe because there was a list of other things just as important harboring my thoughts, and those wouldn't allow me to lift this writer's block smothering me. Maybe I just needed a break.

"Yeah, Riley you just need a break." I mumbled to myself as I slouched back into the leather chair my ass was slowly falling asleep in.

"Riley! Did you hear me?"

"Huh? I-I didn't even see you there." Vanessa was leaned against the wall adjacent to my desk as her brows furrowed and she grew worried with the current state I was in; disorientated and practically holding a conversation with myself. Clear sign of a maniac.

"I said, you do realize that the party going on outside this cubicle you've been hiding in since eight this morning is for you, correct?"

"Oh yeah." I uttered and nodded my head swiftly. "Of course I do, I'm just trying to get this article done so that I can do the two reviews I promised you."

"Honey, you have tomorrow and the weekend to write those. If anything you can just send them to me late and I can fill your columns in with a piece from one of the other writers. You're supposed to be celebrating with your coworkers. What is really wrong?"

What is that obvious that my life was a bit overwhelming? I bet it was written across my face and shown in my actions on a regular.  "Can I be honest with you, Vanessa?"

"Please do so." she pleaded before she walked over to my desk and took a seat on the corner of it.

"I'm so worn out. Everything is happening so fast. I'm dealing with this wedding, moving, and the latter alone is an entire new territory I'm not sure I'm ready for as I was before. I have work here to do, I'm assisting two people in producing an album and there are a few internal demons gnawing me too. I suppose since I signed up for it all I have to deal."

"Yes, that is true." she said, shrugging nonchalantly. "But that doesn't mean you can't take breaks here and there. Give yourself moments to breathe and take your time. If you're feel you're rushin-"

"I'm not." I retorted back quickly, making her chuckle at my effort to prove how sure I was of these sudden choices I had made as of recently. Some days I wasn't certain with them, but on those where I was you couldn't argue me down.

"Okay, well if you're ready to take these next major steps in your life then do it. But don't pressure yourself. As I mentioned previously, this work can be delayed if you need more personal time. It doesn't matter when you finish, I'm still going to publish them."