recognize / b.simmons

41

ben holds the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger and squeezes his eyes shut. he was messing it up, their relationship. what d'angelo said two weeks ago bothered him, how he talked about amari like she was a piece of meat.

and ben let him.

that was the worst part for ben, the guilt he bore because of the fact that he couldn't even stick up for his girlfriend, whom he loved.

but hearing the way another man who was formerly acquainted with his girlfriend—his own friend—struck a nerve. he didn't want somebody's left overs. but he wanted amari, and there was no denying it.

ben lied on the phone to amari, and he wasn't even sure if he believed himself. and he wasn't sure if he'd call it cheating—he hadn't done anything to completely disrespect their relationship besides avoiding amari and texting this woman more. shes only a friend though, an old friend—evelyn—and nothing romantic, just some light flirting. but other than that, he really only has eyes for amari. he's just confused and frustrated with himself.

"you gotta tell her, bro," tahj says, scaring ben. he looks at tahj and drags a hand across his face. tahj knew that ben was fucking around with his relationship with amari, but he didn't know the details. he just knew that ben was going to fuck this up if he didn't come clean.

"i know, i know. it's going to hurt her," ben states and tahj punches him in the chest.

"no shit! you didn't consider that before you royally fucked this up?" tahj asks. ben massages the part on his chest that tahj punched. "bird chest ass!" tahj mutters, shaking his head at ben.

ben cocks his fist back to punch tahj, and he dodges it successfully. "fuck you, tahj. and i know. i wasn't thinking," ben admits, slumping against the wall and drops his gaze to his feet. "it's not fair to her. i'm doing what i told her i wouldn't." he runs a hand across his face and sighs a heavy sigh before sliding down the wall and onto the floor.

tahj looks down at him with disgust. "stop being a pussy and man up!" ben looks up at tahj with a pained expression. he knew amari didn't deserve this and he knew ghosting her for almost two weeks was going to set them back again. they could never win.

"i get it, aight? i'll handle it, man," ben says, dropping his head. tahj scoffs, unconvinced.

"whatever, bro," tahj leaves ben sitting on the floor and heads towards his room. the first time, tahj nearly ruined amari and bens relationship, but he also apologized. tahj wasn't taking the blame for this time.

as tahj enters his room, his phone starts ringing. he answers without taking a glance at the caller. "hello?"

"tahj?" his heart sinks at her voice and glances over his shoulder before closing his door.

"amari? you okay?" he knew the answer, but felt compelled to ask anyway.

a sniffle, then, "yes. no. i don't know, tahj. whats happening?" her voice cracks at the end and tahj sighs, cursing ben in his head for doing this to a nice girl. amari didn't deserve the way she was being treated.

"honestly, amari, i couldn't tell you. that's something that you and ben need to talk about," he says. amari nods on the other end, though he can't see her. his words were true, but amari wasn't sure if she could endure anymore lies over the phone.

it's silent a moment before amari speaks again. "do you... do you know anything?" she asks, her voice small.

tahj's breath catches in his throat and he instinctively looks over his shoulder. "amari— please, tahj. i can't deal with anymore lies." she cuts him off, her voice feeble and exhausted.