red [complete]

1.4

Remus dives Sirius to the funeral.

Which of course means a stop at Sirius' apartment. Remus pokes around while Sirius gets dressed.

There are rotting bananas on the counter. He wonders if Sirius likes banana bread.

Remus barely avoids a piece of glass near Sirius' couch. On the coffee table is a broken picture frame- in the frame, a picture of Sirius and some people he assumes are Sirius' friends from high school. At the very end of the line of boys is someone cut in half by the frame. Sure enough- Regulus. Younger, but much more lively than Remus ever remembers seeing him.

"Mom made me let Reg in the picture." Sirius explains sadly from behind Remus. "Despised it at the time."

Remus spins to face him. Sirius has his suit coat tossed over the top of the kitchen table. His tie is poorly knotted around his neck and his right cuff is still unbuttoned.

Remus looks intently at the knot that is haphazardly tied around Sirius' neck: he wants so badly to fix it.

"You can fix it, if you want."

Remus just continues to look at Sirius, unsure if this is Sirius' attempt to lure him into close enough proximity to kiss him.

Sirius sighs, "will you please fix it?"

"Sirius-"

"I'm not going to try anything, Jesus!" Sirius snaps. "This is me genuinely asking for your help."

Remus approaches him wordlessly and undoes the tie. When he's this close to Sirius, he can see a few imperfections littering Sirius' otherwise untarnished face- the little scar next to his right eye and his slightly crooked nose. Remus can smell Sirius' aftershave which is just a bit citrusy and not at all what Remus expects.

Sirius swallows as Remus' gentle fingers work to tie the knot around his throat. A wicked thought passes through Sirius' head as he imagines Remus' fingers looping a rope and tying it around a ceiling fan before asking Sirius to put his head through it. Instead, Sirius tries to focus on the way the back of Remus' pointer finger grazes across his throat and the minty smell of Remus' toothpaste that lingers on Sirius' lips. He knows he told Remus he wouldn't try to kiss him but God, he was aching to feel Remus' lips against his own again, even for a moment.

As if Remus could hear his thoughts, he takes a step back and takes Sirius' right wrist. He fumbles a small amount as he tries to button it.

"Don't bother," Sirius tells him. "The hole is a bit too big. It's just gonna fall out."

Remus sighs softly. "There's a sewing kit in my car. I can throw a couple stitches in before we go."

Sirius is touched by the thoughtfulness. He needs someone to take care of him right now. "Okay." Tears well in his eyes, though he doesn't want to cry today.

Today he's going to read an obituary for his little brother. Just 19.

Sirius was 19 when Regulus got his diagnosis, but the doctors thought he could beat it.

They were wrong.

Now Sirius is 22.

He didn't spend his 21st birthday in a bar, even though James begged him to come out. Instead, he sat by Regulus' side and they played cribbage. Regulus barfed up the sliver of birthday cake he snuck when Remus wasn't watching. Sometimes, Sirius forgets that Remus celebrated with them.

Today, Sirius is going to watch his father toss a shovel of dirt onto his baby brother's casket.

And he's going to watch his mother sob into her new boyfriend's shoulder.

And Sirius isn't going to cry.