anxious -davekat fanfiction [humanstuck]

chapter six

A/N
so for some reason some of you guys actually like this story so i'm gonna try to continue it. also, i'm going to try using my roleplaying style, sorry if u lil' bitches don't like it~

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[DAVES POV]

it seemed like karkat calmed down more, which i was pretty happy about. i sat on my bed, getting comfy.
"you can come sit down, and you can take off your shoes if you want."
i offered.
"ok.."
he said in reply, mumbling. he kicked off his shoes and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to touch as little of it as possible.

[KARKATS POV]
i felt like anything i touched of daves he would get mad about. i wanted to enjoy being in his home but i couldn't help but feel like i was intruding.
"so... weren't we gonna study or some shit?"
he mumbled to him. he nodded. i didn't want to study but that's why i'm here so i might as well do that.

[DAVES POV]
we started studying the few classes we were in together, but we would get caught up in conversation, but continue going back to our work. we ended up doing less and less work and more and more talking. we would crack jokes and just talk about random stuff. he asked me some more stuff about being transgender, i'm glad he's interested in it. it's really cool to educate someone on all of this. sure i've told some of it to dirk, but really only the important shit. anyway, the papers and books were now pushed to the corner of the bed and we were just talking, completely forgetting about our work.
"so, do you feel dysphoric often?"
we were currently on the topic of my dysphoria.
"nah, i'm pretty good with keeping that shit off my mind. but if i'm looking in the mirror right after a shower, or i roll over in my sleep, it creeps up and bites me, like the way some stupid ass bug would. honestly, it can be worse from time to time, like sometimes i can just notice it for a bit but it just goes away, and i'm fine. but sometimes it can stay, and feel really bad, i cry about it some nights... but not often! i promise!"
he just nodded and then we stayed silent for a few moments. he wasn't being quite like he usually is, and i was really happy about that. seeing him all chatty and having fun like this, it was nice, really nice.
after a while, he had to go home. i offered to walk him home, and he said yes. we put on our shoes and coats and walked out the door and to karkats house, starting off in silence.
"hey ugh.. thanks... for helping me today.. both with studying and at school.. just everything...."
he said softly.
"don't mention it dude."
i smirked at him and he blushed a bit before looking away. we briefly talked about a few other random things before reaching karkats house.
"goodbye, karkitty~"
he blushed brightly.
"shut the fuck up dave. and goodbye."
he walked in his home and slammed the door. i rolled my eyes and just walked home.

[KARKATS POV]
i slid down the door, bringing my knees to my chest and hugging my legs. after a few minutes i stood up and walked to the bathroom, grabbing a new, sharp razor blade that hasn't been used yet. one cut for everything i did wrong today. one for not eating. one for throwing up on, and in front of dave. one for being extremely awkward around his brother. one for looking like a wimp while he carried me around. one for all the things that the bully said, that were completely true. and one more for all of it, just hoping that it will make me feel the littlest bit better about all of it.