Your cat

YOUR DOG 2 (BOOK 2)

Yeonjun throws up all over his kitchen floor, the only thing holding him up is his hand gripping the edge of the counter. His right hand clutching a bottle of vodka.

"Come on" I touch his elbow. He looks back at me with his sad drunk eyes.

"I threw up..."

"It's okay I'll clean it up" I sit him down on a kitchen chair and open the cupboard to grab coffee grinds. I pour it over the throw up. The coffee will absorb it and I'll be able to sweep it up with no gross mess, plus the coffee will mask the odor. I leave the coffee on the floor and go back to Yeonjun, leading him to his room.

"I ran a bath for you to clean up" I eye him worriedly.

"I don't need it"

"I'm not asking you. Hurry up and get undressed"

"No"

"Yeonjun!"

I had to wrestle him to get his clothes off and in the bath. He was grumpy but I managed.

He's sitting in the warm bath. I put him a bath bomb that's was supposed to relieve stress and also turned pink.

I'm washing his hair with shampoo, even scrubbing behind his ears because I know he never does even though I tell him all the time.

I didn't say anything. Nothing needed to be said. Earlier today we attended the funeral of his grandmother. She wasn't his real grandma, she wasn't even blood. She was his foster parent for more than half his life, she was his only family. He didn't even get to say goodbye to her, she died so sudden of a heart attack.

I know he's feeling immense guilt. He's been drinking since he got the news. I know it's not healthy or good but I feel like I couldn't tell him to stop. Who am I to tell him how to grieve? I know I wish I was drunk when I attended my mother and fathers funeral.

"I'm the worst" Yeonjuns head is dropped low. His wet hair completely covering his eyes.

"You're not"

"I could have called more"

"You called her every week"

"I should have visited more"

"She was four hours away and you're a full time student"

"I could have loved her more"

"Stop it! This isn't your fault Yeonjun! There was nothing you could have done. I spent so many years thinking I could have prevented my parents death but I couldn't! I was four years old there was nothing I could do to stop them from losing control and crashing in to a pole. Death is death, and once I realized it, I was able to heal"

"...it's never gonna go away huh? This sadness is going to be inside me forever"  I swallowed hard.

"Yes, it's never going to go away, because as long as you love her it's going to hurt"

"I'm all alone now"

"You have me" I don't know what kind of face he's making right now, but I hear a small smile in his voice when he speaks.

"Yeah... you're right"