Strictly Mysterious

Chapter 9

~ 6th March 2020 ~

Professionals tour rehearsals; should be fun, full of happiness etc. But the atmosphere was completely dead. Strictly rehearsals have never been like this.. but on the same token, the strictly family have never experienced something so traumatic. The most common fear in the world is of the unknown, wether people will admit to it or not; not knowing where Katya is or if she's even okay was so hard to cope with.

Luba was sitting alone, waiting for rehearsals to start. Nadiya suggested that she takes the day off, but she couldn't. Being alone was the only way Luba could sort through her brain - every interaction she had with another person felt like an interrogation. While she was by herself, she could think. Although, as much as she needs the time to think, it wasn't something she particularly enjoyed. Thinking about everything she'd ever done wrong; thinking about Katya; thinking about what happened the last time they were together... it was close enough to torture.

Interrupting her thoughts, Neil rushes over to her table frantically. It shocked her - she's found that recently, being surprised makes her feel quite panicky. He shoves a book in front of her face, appearing quite panicky himself. Neil was always pale.. but this was a shade of pale that she'd never quite seen before.

"Um.. hi?" Luba asks, taking shallow breaths.
"Sorry Luba, I didn't mean to scare you.." he says. "I'm even more sorry that I'm dragging you back into this, but I really need your help here, Katya might really need you right now..."

Luba takes a moment to calm herself down, take a few deep breaths. Neil saw how scared talking about Katya made her the other day, he wouldn't involve her again unless it was seriously important.

"What's wrong..?" She asks.
"Me and Nadiya found this in Katya's flat, it's her diary.." he explains. "but it's all written in Russian, I have no idea what any of it means.. please can you translate?"

The vulnerable woman picks up the book. You could definitely tell that it was Katya's - bright red, with glitter and a picture of her dog. Luba wants nothing more than to burst out crying again, but she manages to bottle it up this time. Every single part of her brain is telling her that reading the diary is a bad idea. But.. Neil clearly needs her to, despite how much damage it might cause her.

"I..I.. what if it leads to nothing..?"
"If it needs to nothing, it leads to nothing. But at least we can say we tried.."

The thought of reading through Katya's own personal thoughts.. besides feeling intrusive, Luba knows about Katya's ordeal with trolling; imagine having to read the depressing thoughts of someone you desperately cared about, especially when they're classed as missing. Luba feels like throwing the book back in Neil's face and refusing to translate, but that would be cruel. She can't object simply because of her own mental state.

"Okay.. okay, I will." She agrees. "But.. but I'll read it at home, if that's alright?"
"I know it's difficult Luba but.. well, isn't it best we find out now..?"
"No.. no, I don't mean it that way.. I just mean.. well, what if there's.. you know.. girl stuff? Besides, we're in rehearsals all day, so we wouldn't be able to act on it until later anyway.."

Neil clears his throat once Luba says 'Girl stuff'. They might have been married a long time, but there are some things which should stay between women. Plus, even if that isn't the only reason, he understands that Luba might need some extra time time to wrap her head around whatever it might say. If anybody else could help him, he'd ask them.

"Just give me a moment.. I.. I need the bathroom.." Luba says, before swanning off with Katya's diary.

And there Neil was, sitting alone at the table. He rests his head in his hands, his heart feeling heavy. There was nothing in this whole world that could console him than having Katya back home, and everyone else was in the same boat. But what would that take? What could finally bring her home? As time goes on, the possibility of her being in serious danger was becoming more and more real, and it wasn't something anyone was up to thinking about. However, at this specific moment, it was the only thing whizzing around Neil's head.

Cautiously, a tired Nadiya walks up and sits next to Neil, resting her hand on his back to comfort him. Everyone needs some looking after in times like this, as bizarre as the entire thing is. Thinking back to the first day of promo for the tour, before anyone realised that Katya wasn't there, that was the last time anyone felt happy. Ever since then, it's just been miserable.

"How're you feeling..?" Nadiya asks.
"Shit." Neil answers frankly. "How about you?"
"Equally shit."

As horrific as the mood is, they at least have each other to lean on. Whereas, as awful as it is to think about, there's a chance that Katya is somewhere, completely alone, with no one there to help her. If she's alive, Nadiya just hopes that she knows people are doing there best to help her. If Kat isn't alive.. no. That's too sad to think about. The idea of Katya being dead is something that everyone has been praying every single night to prevent happening. If she's gone, if she's really gone, then what's the point in any of this?

"Did the diary end up being nothing?" Nadiya questions. "I'm going to presume you'd be doing something about it if Luba found anything useful.."
"We don't know yet, she's taking it home to read it over."
Nadiya's eyes widen, much to the confusion of Neil. "Wait.. wait, Luba has the diary with her?"
"Yes.. why?" Neil asks.
"I went to the bathroom before coming here.. Luba was in there."
"Yes. And?"

"I.. I heard her tearing out pages from a book."