Helping you - BTS Jungkook x Reader

Chapter 32 - The Party...

It's back.

The temptation is eating me alive from the inside out. I've been clean for so long and I am finally happy, I don't understand why I feel like this. But I do and I'm itching to give in to that urge.

Without my permission, my feet drag me into the bathroom. Fortunately Jungkook is with the boys and is coming to pick me up later so I am alone in this house.

[TRIGGER WARNING]
I retrieve the small yet very powerful object from underneath the mirror where I hid it from Jungkook ages ago and I feel a sense of belonging as I pick it up, as if I just returned home. My small hands delicately weave it between my fingers once again familiarising myself with every scratch embedded into the silver metal, every particle of dried blood, each dent, each imperfection telling a story as my skin brushes over it. Even from just holding it I feel myself relax as I let my body do the work. I clasp it so tightly as if it was my prize possession.

I slowly lay it's sharp, shining edge against my fragile arm, I press down hard watching the blade sink into my skin. I drag it across my arm watching as each skin particle tears apart, revealing the metallic liquid which proceeds to trickle down my arm.

I repeat the steps multiple times before putting the razor back in it's hiding spot.

[START READING AGAIN]

It's exhilarating to remember what that felt like.

I clean myself up making sure to not leave anything uncovered as I finish getting ready for Yoongi's Birthday Party. I wear a long sleeved top for obvious reasons and a short skirt, well short for me. I finish the look off with some stylish black heeled boots and curl my hair. I add the finishing touches to my makeup which was mostly done already. Perfectly timed, Jungkook knocks on the door and we head off together.

[...]

Yoongi had a party yesterday but I politely declined his invitation as I'm not a sociable person as you know. The remanences of it still remain however the place still looks nice. Today is Yoongi's gathering, this is the real party except less people as it's only for close friends. Me and all the boys are here as well as a few other people. I recognise some of them from school and lets just say they aren't the type of people I would normally associate myself with.

"Jungkook, y/n! How are you? Everyone else is through the back, come on." Yoongi greets us and I wish him a happy birthday to which he is thankful.

"Ayyyy! Looks whose here!" Namjoon cheers, "We're about to play our infamous game of truth or dare, want to join?" I think Namjoon is already slightly tipsy.

"Sure." Jungkook chirps happily sitting down and making himself comfy. Due to the unfamiliar people here I am uncertain however if you think I'm leaving these guys to go be with a bunch of people I don't know then you are wrong. So I hesitantly agree and perch myself in between Jimin and Taehyung, who both greet my with their breath-taking smiles.

The game begins and at first it's quite slow to start so I take the time to dive into the huge array of alcohol to try and get myself tipsy for whatever was coming my way tonight.

"Jimin, truth or dare?" One of the girls asks whilst winking at him simultaneously. He smirks at her and confidently states, "Dare.". It's so weird all of the boys auras are completely contrasting to how I know them. Even Jungkook up to a point.

The plastic girl thinks for a minute until she comes to a conclusion, "I dare you to do 7 minutes in heaven with Becca." Jimin's smirk widens as his gaze falls to another girl. They both stand up and walk over to the cupboard door in the corner of the room with Jimin's hand placed firmly on her bum.

"Whilst they're doing that who wants to go next?" A boy I'm unfamiliar with asked.

"I will." Says another girl who I notice is dangerously eyeing Jungkook up and down, "Jungkook, truth or dare." Her eyes contain a look that I don't like but I must admit this is what Jungkook deserves, someone pretty and popular who can fulfill his needs unlike me.

Before Jungkook can answer we hear loud moans originating from the cupboard Jimin and that Becca girl are in right now and everyone laughs and smirks at the sound but I just feel uncomfortable. Keep calm y/n it's fine, these are still the same boys. They are your family and they will always protect you. I tell myself.

As if sensing my nerves Tae rests his head on mine as clarification that he's got my back and I feel my shoulders relax slightly.

"Dare." Jungkook finally answers and the girl smirks at him biting her lip.

"I dare you to take a body shot off of me." She states a seductive undertone prominent in her voice. I wanted to shoot her then and there but to be fair she probably doesn't even know we're dating.

To my utter shock she removes her top and everyone starts pouring the liquid on her, Jungkook is clearly conflicted and doesn't know whether to play because it's just a game or refuse. He looks at me for approval and I fake my best smile and nod at him, he returns the gesture before focusing back on the game. I'm not happy about it but I trust him and I feel like I burden him so much that I want him to be able to have a bit of fun with his friends like he use to. I get taken aback when I see the alcohol was poured in between her breasts in her bra.

Tae desperately grabs my hand and squeezes it, "You know he doesn't want to do it don't you?" I nod in response not wanting to focus on the events happening.

A rugged looking Jimin and the Bella or Becca or whatever named girl reappear from the cupboard. Her makeup is completely smudged all over him and they're both sweating with Jimin's shirt half untucked. Tae covers my eyes, I don't know if it was to protect me from the horrifying sight of them two or from Jungkook and that slag but I don't care because I don't want to see either. Eventually I regain my vision and that girl finally has her top back on and the game proceeds.

Lost in thought about the sweet nothing's of life I get woken up by my name being called, "Y/n." I hear Jin say with a concerned look on his face. I look around only to be greeted by one of the fake bitches repeating herself, "You, quiet girl, truth or dare?". Her laser glare is directly pointed at me and I can feel her stare burning a hole right through me, I'm trying to think but my mind goes cloudy. I reach out for Tae's hand only to realise he's upstairs with a random girl doing God knows what. I'm falling into panic mode and I have no power to stop it until suddenly, I feel a hand placed over mine, I look to see Jimin encouraging me. I take a deep breath before saying "Dare.".

I don't know what came about me, I'm in shock. But then I also realise what I said. I wanted to say truth but no one has picked truth since we got here so I didn't want to feel anymore alienated then I already did so I picked dare. Shit.

"I dare you to ...take your shirt off." She dares me.

I freeze, am I allowed to refuse? I need to especially with the fresh cuts on my arms, I just can't do it. Then I remember what Kookie always told me, 'If you don't want to no one will force you.'. reluctantly I shake my head, scared of the outcome.

I hear mutters of, 'That one is so easy though.' and 'if she can't even do that why is she here?'.

"Pick a different one instead." Hobi suggests trying to defend me.

The girl does a very overdramatic sigh before agreeing, "Fine, do 7 minutes in heaven with Felix." Who the f*ck is Felix?...

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Hey guys thank you so much for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it!

Part 2 is coming very soon and it's already finished. Just to warn you guys it's likely that this book will come to an end as soon as I tie all the loose ends up as the aim of this story has happened already for the most part! :(

Anyways, Thank you so much! - Bangtanxxo :)