Until the End of Time

6

October 2, 1978

Stevie didn't see or hear from Lindsey after the concert at the forum and she understood why really she did. He had gone to Oceania or Europe or something on tour and it made sense. But she may or may have not stocked the Warner Brother's files and figured out that they had been back stateside since August. She didn't expect to hear from him, as she was the one that said countless times that what they were doing was wrong but there was this little glimmer of hope. 

She was at a bar with her backup singers, Lori and Sharon, trying to drink away her longing for Lindsey and it just wasn't working. But really she had gotten so immune to drugs and alcohol that nothing was making her feel better. 

"I'll go get us some more drinks," Lori said above the music.

"Okay." Stevie nodded.

"I'll come with, I want to try something else but I don't know what." Sharon stood up to go with her. 

Stevie was alone for a little while but then she felt someone slide into the booth next to her. She tensed as she looked over and them and then let out a breath when she realized it was Lindsey.

"Well Hero, if it isn't you." She shook her head.

"She's pregnant Stevie." He looked down at his hands.

"What?" Stevie turned to face him fully. 

"Kristen she's pregnant. About two and a half months." Lindsey nodded.

"But I thought you were getting a divorce." Stevie's heart fell to the pit of her stomach. 

"I was planning on it, but I got drunk the night we returned home from tour and we had sex. I'm going to have three kids. Two of which will be a little under a year apart." Lindsey told her.

"Well, congratulations. Excuse me. I need to get out of the booth." She motioned passed him.

"Come on Steph, don't be like that." He sighed.

"Like what." She held back a tear or two. 

"Don't shut me out. I still want to be friends with you." Lindsey let her out. 

"We've passed friends Lindsey. We've slept with each other twice. We can never go back. I need to go." She moved passed him and made her way to where the girls were waiting for the drinks at the bar. 

"Stevie, what's the matter?" Lori questioned. 

"We need to get out of here." She whimpered letting the tears fall. 

"Agh, okay." Lori nodded motioning to the bartender to nix the drinks he was making. 

***

Stevie refused the girls entrance into the house and when she got inside and took her shoes off she raided all of her hiding places and she didn't have any cocaine anywhere so along with making a mental note to call Don Henley in the morning she fell into a heap onto her living room floor and cried. She didn't know why the idea of Lindsey having another baby with that woman hurt her so much but it did. Maybe she was harboring feelings for the man...No she knew she was harboring feelings for the man but she couldn't for the life of her understand why. She had only really hung out with him three times and slept with him twice already. It wasn't normal and it really wasn't okay. 

She had stopped crying when the doorbell rang. She slowly trudged to the door and when she opened it and came face to face with Lindsey the tears started to fall again. All he did was take her chin into his hand and he kissed her. He didn't give her the option or the chance to pull away. And when they pulled away a line of spit trailing between them he pushed her into the house and after quickly locking the door they made their way upstairs. 

After they had sex, Stevie laid in the bed and watched him leave. As she heard the door shut it didn't matter that he had no way of locking the door because she wasn't going to crawl downstairs and lock it herself. So not giving a damn that anyone could walk into her house she rolled over into the pillow that still smelt like his and cried. Watching him leave made it increasingly clear that she was in love with the man. He could very well be her soulmate because why else would only after seeing each other four times would she be feeling these intense emotions for the man. 

She couldn't help but imagine that she was the one carrying his baby. A little girl he'd pick out one of her names and she'd pick out one of her names. Stevie hated pink but the nursery for their little girl would be exactly that-pink-and she would crochet her a little baby blanket. She'd sing like her mother and she'd play guitar like her daddy. But it was all too good to be true. A trip to the gynecologist a few months prior revealed that because she had a history of getting ovarian cysts it meant that she rarely released an egg during menstruation and her odds at having a child at all were slim. She was thirty years old and her life was flipping upside down because of a stupid guitarist. 

***

The next morning, after Don and his dealer, brought her some more cocaine she looked at the whole 50 grams she bought the more she wanted to do all of it at the same time, but she controlled herself and divided it up between her baggies and strung them around the house. She did, however, crack another bottle of red wine and she drank all of it before five in the evening when she passed out. She doesn't know how her life ended up the way that it did and as much as she loved it, she hated it all the same. It had its perks and it's highs but the lows...Well, they were really low and she didn't know how she was going to get through it. There were days that she didn't even believe she was going to make it too see 50 but the worst part about all of it, was that she didn't have these feelings before Lindsey showed up on the scene.