Until the End of Time

26

November 23, 1994

It was really late as she snuck into the "big house" as Kaci calls it. She's adjusted well to staying at the Condo with Stevie, but she always, always, always says that she misses Lindsey and Stevie understands that, because she misses Lindsey too. A lot. She's at the point in pregnancy where even her hand can't satisfy how sexual she's become. But she's determined to get through this weekend without any confrontation like that. 

She traveled through the night so Kaci would sleep. Really it's a ten-minute drive, but she left at 2:30 in the morning so she can get home secretly and quietly. She might run into William or Leelee but the two of them know that they can stay up as late as they want as long as they're in their rooms so she's hopeful that they're at least shut-in. 

She lays Kaci down with Lindsey in the big bed and then she heads to one of the guest rooms. The first one she tries to get into has no bed, and she cocks her head before flicking the light on and her hands come up to her mouth. 

The walls that had previously been covered in a green paisley wallpaper was now painted a dark gray with white trims. The two windows that were in the room, were covered in pink curtains. There was a white crib with light pink crib sheets and a white changing table with a light pink pad. The crib and the table had been Kaci's but Lindsey just changed the sheets. But the leftover sheets from Kaci,  were probably tucked in a basket in the closet because Kaci's nursery was pink on pink on pink so the change in this room by having a gray armchair and the gray walls was nice. 

She cried a little bit and had collected herself before turning the light off and going to another guest room. It was a crapshoot because Lindsey's mom was there for Thanksgiving as were her parents. She had explained the whole situation when she had her stop in Arizona, and then they contacted Lindsey to make sure if it was still okay to stay at their house. Luckily the guestroom she chose, was unoccupied so she snuggled into the bed and went to sleep. It wasn't the same without Lindsey in the bed with her, but she was still unsure about coming back to the life that they had, even though she did miss it to a point. 

***

The next morning when she woke up she checked into the Master bedroom and Kaci was curled up in the middle of the bed. The dogs against her back and Lindsey's side of the bed was empty. The bathroom door was ajar and it was dark so she knew he was up and moving around so she ventured to the kitchen to start getting the Thanksgiving dinner ready. 

Lindsey was sitting at the Island, drinking his coffee and reading the morning paper, enjoying his few moments of quiet time and Stevie snuck behind him and planted a hand on his bicep and a kiss to his jaw. 

"That nursery looks beautiful." She tells him.

"I'm glad you like it." He looks down. 

"I love it. What made you decide to do it?" She questions.

"Well I mean, she's my kid so why not. I also have a car seat set up in my SUV. I have one for yours too that we have to set up. 

"Alright, we can do it after breakfast what would you like?" She moves to the fridge.

"Anything is fine. How come Kaci slept with me last night and not you?" He asks.

"Lindsey...I still don't know where we stand. I put Kaci in there though because she's been missing you and I know our daughter. She's probably going to sleep in there until we go back to the condo...Or at least. I go back to the condo. She hates it. She Misses her toys and siblings. And besides, there's not enough room for the four of us in there." 

"Hmm, who would've thought a California King could be too small for a pregnant woman, a kid, and the father." Lindsey states.

"When the father and the kid are helicopters it's not enough room." Stevie grins starting on an omelet. 

"We are not helicopters...Well, at least I'm not, she kicked me several times which is how I ended up down here. This is my fourth cup of coffee." He holds up the mug and drinks it down. 

"You are going to crash so bad." Stevie giggles.

"Maybe, but I'm a rockstar I can handle it." Lindsey states.

***

After thanksgiving ended and Stevie parted ways with her children and Lindsey yet again, she found herself alone back at her condo and she was miserable. It was cold, lonely, and quiet. Just to make noise she found herself talking nonstop to her belly. She had worked it out with Lindsey though, and she would be back in the house for Christmas, after Christmas she'd decide what it was she wanted to do. She was either going to move back in completely or she was going to move in, in increments but they both agreed that they needed to be living together when she went into Labor. He was her pain relief. He helped her through the pain more than any drug could and especially with her history she didn't want to risk anything. Right now she was leaning more towards the moving back in, in increments because she realized that even though it sucked, she liked having her own space. It was nice to just be away from everyone for a while, but she will admit that at the end of the day she misses listening to her kids' fight over who gets to brush their teeth first, she misses cuddling up in Lindsey's arms and watching a movie into the night and sharing sweet kisses. 

But she was ready to get married and if he wasn't she didn't know if he would be her reality much longer. And it killed her to think like that.