Until the End of Time

14

September 1, 1989

It's been three years since she, well Lindsey got full custody of the kids. William's fourteen now and he is so a teenager it's not even funny.  Leelee is twelve and Stella is ten. Being forty-one and watching the kids grow up is hard for her because she does want a baby of her own. The kids are as good as hers but she wants to experience growing a new life within her body. She and Lindsey have been together-together for four years but they've been sleeping together for eleven years as hard as that is for Stevie to admit. 

Currently, she's on tour for her album The Other Side of the Mirror. They have this weird system going. Stevie'll start touring the end of summer and finish around Christmas and Lindsey goes out on tour during the summer months so the kids are never left alone. She's in Pittsburg tonight and once her wake up call goes off she starts getting ready for the day but as soon as she swings her legs over the side of the bed, a queasy feeling encompasses her body. 

"Oh, this isn't good." She swallows thickly. 

She quickly dials room service and requests dry toast and ginger tea in hopes that it'll settle her stomach. A few hours later she's laying on her left side cuddling a pillow to her chest when a knock comes at the door. She slowly crawls out of bed and opens the door to her brand new assistant Karen Johnson, a twenty-something-year-old who came highly recommended from her previous assistant Ginny who got pregnant and left. 

"Stevie, we have to get...are you okay?" Karen asks.

"Karen I feel like shit," Stevie says honestly.

"Well, it's too late to cancel." Karen sighs.

"I know, I was hoping this would pass...I just hope I don't puke on the audience." Stevie breathes out.

"Do you think you have a bug or something? Have you thrown up?" Karen asks.

"No I haven't but I feel like it. I was hoping that when we get to the venue I can steal one of your Alka-seltzer packets and see if that helps." She sighs. 

"Yeah of course. But come on, we've gotta get going." Karen ushers.

Stevie nods but grabs the stuff she needs and follows her assistant out into the hallway of the luxurious hotel. 

***

Peering into the mirror at the venue she's examining her body. "I look puffy." She pouts.

"You what?" Lori her new sister in law and back up singer asks.

"I look puffy. My face and god I'm so bloated." She turns to look at her profile in the mirror. 

"Are you pregnant?" Sharon her other back up singer asks.

"No, I can't get pregnant. I get Ovarian cysts which means it's rare for me to give off an egg during a menstrual cycle." She shakes her head.

"Well Karen said you were feeling sick, and you claim you're bloated and puffy what else could it be?" Lori inquires.

"I have no idea, but I'm not pregnant." Stevie shakes her head. 

As they're taking their final bows, she feels it and she pushes away quickly before sprinting back to the bathroom. Once she pukes she releases the pressure on her bladder and then she just slowly staggers back into her dressing room where everyone is waiting for her.

"Stevie, you just puked I don't think you should do the show on the third." Karen sighs.

"No, I'm doing the show on the third. It's probably a twenty-four-hour thing. I'll just go sleep it off." She shakes her head.

"Stevie you're sick." Karen badgers.

"Karen, give it a rest...She's not going to budge. She's gone on stage with pneumonia before." Lori chimes in. 

The next morning, Stevie wakes up in the same predicament and then she starts thinking about it. She hasn't missed a period yet so she doesn't think it's a baby growing in her belly, but it's also not flu season AND She got her flu shot before they embarked on the tour. She deduces it down to food poisoning and she just buries under the covers and goes to sleep. 

***

September 19, 1989

Two weeks later, she hasn't gotten better but she's done a good job of camouflaging it. She's limited her sudden movements on stage and she keeps to herself in the morning until the sick feeling subsides around two in the afternoon. And she deduced that she had missed a period in September, so since she's off until the 27th of September and she's not attempting to head home because that would just be a disaster with the kids, she tells Karen not to bother her and she calls a car to head to the clinic. After she pees in a cup and gets her blood drawn she's nervously bouncing her legs and chewing on her thumbnail in the waiting room. She's glad that she's opted to go early in the morning and she's one of the only ones there because she's trying to avoid the prying eyes of her fans. 

"Stephanie Buckingham." Her alias, even though it's a bad one, is called and she collects her stuff before following the nurse into a different part of the hospital.

"Maternity?" She asks as they go down that specific hallway. 

The nurse just winks and Stevie's hand goes to her heart.

"No?" She asks.

"Congratulations...right in here, take everything off and change into the gown that's sitting on the bed and the doctor will be back shortly." The nurse nods. 

Stevie does as she's told and as she's sitting there in the cold blue paper gown her hand doesn't leave her abdomen. A knock sounds at the door and a middle-aged woman walks in. 

"So, I understand we have a sensitive situation here, I'm Dr. Crowly I'm the High-Risk pregnancy doctor here, in Minnesota but I know you're on tour and I know you're just trying to confirm a pregnancy but I want to recommend you to a high risk in Santa Monica for you, Dr. Carol Bradley. I'll send everything over for her. And she'll call you to set up your next appointment but for right now. Congratulations you're pregnant." The doctor sits on the stool.

"High Risk?" Stevie gulps.

"A pregnancy is considered high risk if the mother is younger than seventeen or older than 35. Your labs came back healthy though so you're just borderline high risk." The doctor explains. 

"Alright, what can I do?" She asks.

"I'm going to prescribe you a high dose prenatal vitamin. But right now, I know you probably want to take a look at your baby so I'm going to have you lie back and put your feet in the stirrups. This is called a transvaginal ultrasound. It'll make it easier for us to see the baby. So you'll feel a little bit of pressure but it shouldn't hurt." The doctor tells her as she gets situated. 

"I don't understand I was told I was never going to be able to have kids." She winces as the probe goes in. 

"Right, because you get Ovarian cysts. But you're taking medicine for them, and you've stopped killing yourself with drugs so your body is healthier and frankly miracles can happen. I think a higher power wanted you to have a baby. And here they are." She points out on the screen. 

"That's my baby," She grins.

"Yeah, you're about eight weeks along, and here is their heartbeat." She flicks the switch. 

"It sounds so strong." Stevie smoothes her thumb over her stomach.

"it does, that's a good sign. I would say you're due in early May.  Would you like some pictures?" She asks.

"Yes absolutely." Stevie nods. 

***

When she gets back to her hotel with her prescription and a little tiny plush baby blanket that's white with gray stripes on it and a gray elephant she immediately takes it out of the packaging and splays it across her stomach.

"I can't wait to meet you my little spring flower." She smiles at her belly.