Until the End of Time

21

May 22, 1994

Stevie had her upper body plastered to the counter in the kitchen as the family was bustling around. 

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." four-year-old Kaci was tugging on her dress.

"What?" Stevie asks pushing herself up and laying her very heavy head in her hand. 

"Can you make me an egg sandwich?" Kaci questions.

Just the thought of eggs made her want to throw up so she swallowed thickly and shook her head. "No sweet girl I can't." 

"But why?" Kaci asks.

"Because I don't feel good. And if I'm sick I don't want to get you sick so you ask your brother or one of your sisters to get you some cereal please." Stevie pleaded. 

"I'll get her some. Are you okay mom?" Will asks coming in and placing his hand on her back.

"I feel like I'm going to throw up." She tells him.

"If you feel that sick I'm not going to make you sit through a three-hour graduation ceremony." He shakes his head.

"No, it's not every day that you kid graduates from High School. I'm not missing it, besides we have to sit by the exit anyway in case...well...a fan mob happens and I hate to tell you that it might, but it might. I'll just take the aisle seat and if I have to get out to puke I will but I'm not missing your graduation." Stevie shakes her head. 

"Mom, be serious." William sighs grabbing the fruity pebbles and pouring his baby sister a bowl.

"I am. William, I'm going. And besides, you hate Kristen she's going to be there and she's going to be at your party tomorrow evening. Do you want HER to be the only mother you have at your graduation?" Stevie asks.

"I don't want her there at all." He shakes his head handing the bowl to Kaci.

"Well, there you go. I'm...I'm going to go upstairs and see how your dad's doing on the getting ready aspect. If he had it his way he'd be wearing jeans and a teeshirt." She pats his cheek before going up the stairs. 

When she pushes her way into the master bedroom Lindsey is tying his tie and when he looks at her he knows that something's wrong. "What's the matter?"

"Lindsey I feel like I'm going to puke. But I haven't eaten anything today so there's nothing in my stomach to throw up. Jesus, I haven't felt like this since I was pregnant." She finishes and fixes his tie for him and then lays her head on his shoulder.

"Well Steph, do you think you could be pregnant?" Lindsey asks rubbing her back.

"Honestly, Lindsey I don't know. I could be because like I said the last time I felt like this I was, but I'll be 46 on Wednesday if my chances of getting pregnant the first time were slim they're even slimmer now." She shakes her head.

"But Steph, it did happen you got pregnant at 42 you might be able to get pregnant at 46. I mean it wouldn't be bad if you were though." He shrugs.

"I don't think it'd be bad but I think it might be odd. I mean Lindsey. William is turning 19, Lee is turning 17, Stella just turned 15. Kaci is 4. That's a giant gap." Stevie looks up at him. 

"Steph, let's not worry about it right now. Sometime next week after the family has gone home and all the fuss about Graduation is over, take a test. But are you really feeling up to going to William's graduation?" Lindsey questions.

"I've already had that conversation with him and yes I'm going. I'll be fine. I'll just run and throw up if I need too. The bathrooms aren't that far from the gym. Lindsey, William hates Kristen and he doesn't want her there at all but she's coming. I don't want him to totally hate his graduation pictures and be miserable because of her. If I'm there we know that he'll at least be a little happier." Stevie smiles.

"I guess you have a point. You know, I shouldn't tell you this because I don't want to spoil anything but I'm going to. He's eighteen now, and he has filed documents for you to legally become his mother. All you have to do is sign a paper." Lindsey tells her.

"Is that allowed, I mean Kristen's still alive." She shakes her head.

"Steph, he stopped going to the visits with Kristen when he was sixteen. Do you know why?" Lindsey asks.

"No, I just assumed that since he had a license he was going whenever he pleased." She shrugs.

"He got her to sign off her parental rights. She's still legally Stella and Leelee's mother but though she's biologically William's mother, legally she's not. I had to practically force him to invite her to his grad party and his graduation." Lindsey explains.

"He really sees me as his mother doesn't he?" She asks.

"He has since he was what, eight or ten something like that." Lindsey shrugs.

"He was ten. Leelee was eight. Which means we have been in a relationship for nine years. And look...you still haven't married me yet." Stevie smirks turning away from him and heading to the girl's rooms to check on them. 

***

Stevie did end up throwing up during the graduation ceremony, but it was during the S's and that was good because it meant she got to see William walk across that stage. But as she's leaning against the patio door watching the high schoolers-former high schoolers save for Leelee and Stella's friends-jumping in and out of the pool, and their families, Kristen's included loitering around their backyard as well as Lindsey's band she starts thinking about everything she's feeling and she needs to know. So when Karen walks by her she swiftly reaches out and grabs her elbow.

"What do you need?" She asks.

"I need five pregnancy tests, please. Like yesterday." Stevie bites her lip.

"Wait, like you want me to go now?" She asks.

"Please." Stevie nods.