Chapter 22 : His Chance Ticket

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have you watched run bts tonight? jin florist is the best lmao... anyways, happy reading! 

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Jungkook's POV

Playing around the living room, Jungkook knew the consequences. But ever since his dad went onto a business trip, his mom never allowed him to go out.

Bouncing a ball in the living room would be too noisy and his mom will probably hear what he is doing. So he climbed downstairs in the basement. Most children at the age of ten are afraid of darkness especially when they are alone, but Jungkook is different.

Despite the scary ambiance, Jungkook enjoys playing downstairs because aside from the fact that he likely won't get caught by his mom, he also feels safe down there.

For a moment, he touched the side of his forehead where a huge gauze was placed. He will never forget how his mom pushed him over the wall that made his forehead bleed just because he was playing.

It's what children normally do.

Regardless of the brutally of his punishment last time, he braved himself and successfully found a secluded place where he can play all day.

Hours after hours he played alone endlessly. With the help of a single snack bar inside his pocket, he managed to maintain his energy.

He never felt so free after his dad went away for a while.

Just like every child, Jungkook finally felt sleepy after hours of playing. So he left his ball down the basement and sneaked back up inside his room. In a matter of seconds, he already fell asleep.

"Mom?" Rubbing his right eye, Jungkook yells as soon as he wakes up. He looked at the window and it's almost night time. He thought his mom is preparing dinner in the kitchen so that is where he went.

But no one was there.

He continued calling for his mom and searched every part of their house including his parents' bedroom, only to discover no one.

He cried, the thought of his mom leaving scares him. Why would she even do it?

He cried in his room under his bed. It was his habit whenever he cries because of his mother.

Suddenly, he heard someone ringing the doorbell. Thinking that it was his dad or mom, or both, he hurried downstairs out of excitement only to greet someone else.

"Jungkook, it's dinner time." I woke up as soon as I heard dad's voice inside my room. I quickly wiped the tears on my face before I faced him.

That was a different kind of nightmare.

"I made split pea soup, try it." Dad hands me a bowl of it while I sit up. As soon as I got ahold of it, I tasted it. As expected from dad, the soup was great.

"It tastes really delicious," I tell him with a fake smile. I need to remove the images of my nightmare earlier inside my head. It's bugging me.

"How are you feeling?" He touches my forehead and I remembered the gauze I used to had on it when I was a kid.

"Better," I said.

Because of my unpleasant memories of the past in my sleep, I suddenly had a fever. During most of my panic attacks, I never got one. What makes this time different?

"Good. After that, take your medicines okay?" He reminds and I just nodded at him.

"Oh dad, have you contacted Deonne?" I asked.

The last time I saw him, I look and sound horrible. I even yelled at him which is very unusual for me to do. He seems like a very gentle and delicate person and I might've hurt him from my scolding.

I have to admit, that wasn't the real me. I felt different at that time, it felt like I was not in control of myself. Instead, fear took over me and still does until now.

Dad sighed, I already knew it wasn't a good sign. "He's not answering his phone."

"Do you think he is mad at me?"

"Son, he told me that their family plans to go to Malibu. That's probably the reason why he is not answering our calls. Stop overthinking." My dad laughs but I do not have the energy to join him. "Hey, I can see the sincerity in his eyes when he said that he is your friend before he left. Don't worry." He assures me when he noticed that I do not feel good about it.

He taps me on the shoulder before he left my room.

I know my dad will be sad if I do not finish his soup and the garlic bread he prepared so I ate it as fast as I can.

After finishing, I grabbed my phone and dialed Deonne's number. It' ringing but he is not picking up.

I tried to call him for about ten minutes, but I eventually gave up when all I can hear is his voicemail. "Hey... How are you? Look, I'm sorry if I was rude to you that day. I really am sorry. Please call me back, I hate it when a friend ignores me. So please..."

Before I blacked out that day, Deonne's words comforted my thoughts once more. My mind is already turning off my fear but my heart still beats rapidly causing me to abruptly shut down. He knows how to make me calm, how to send me with peace in darkness.

My dad is always good with words, he can always say the right thing at the right time, except for when I am losing my mind.

It was the first time I felt a sense of relief while actually panicking, which is obviously absurd, but I did felt it. The way he touches my shoulders looks deep into my eyes and says things to console me whenever I feel fear helps me feel calm a bit.

What if that tiny piece of calm in me that time can grow? What if he can help me overcome this weird phobia?

I know it sounds ridiculous because even my own therapist can't help me with it. But, what if? Hope does hurt, but if Deonne can possibly help me, it's worth the risk. He could be my ticket out of this shabby life.

Imagine having a chance to live a normal life again. My subconscious convinces me.

I could go out again, attend a proper university, hang out with my friends without worrying about who we'll meet on the way, having new friends, and doing the things that I love to do without limits.

It would be the life I always wanted to live again.

Instead of Deonne's number, this time I dialed Mr. Sander's. This must be the first time that I called him first.

"Hey, Jungkook." He greeted.

"Can I get my therapy for this month earlier?" I asked, a little anxious.

"Sure. Why?"

"I just want to try something."

"Okay. When do you plan to?"

"Tomorrow."


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