Women ✓ j.jk

Chapter 46 : Advice & Tips

Sitting at an empty bench outside the campus, I grabbed the empty sketchbook I brought from Vancouver.

The idea that I had in my mind was to make it my sketch journal about the experiences I had with Jungkook. A few days ago I started sketching the day Jungkook and I first met on the first page. Then the day where I almost died because of exhaustion due to his stupid dumbbells and the rest was history.

It feels like it was just yesterday when I had my first short haircut to make my scheme work. I'm still wondering how can he not recognize that I'm a woman.

Am I that ugly?

I shake the thought off of my head and started moving my hands up and down against the paper. Thinking that drawing the scenario the other day will make me calm, I decided to do it.

I was the one who told Jungkook to find a girlfriend and now that he found a potential one, I'm acting like a damn baby who needs attention. If this isn't going to work, I'm really going to call Yana and disturb her.

The wind suddenly became strong and my legs are starting to freeze.

That's it wind, make me numb.

"Deonne!" Upon hearing that voice, I immediately closed my sketchbook and placed it back inside my bag. I looked at the direction of where the voice was coming from and saw that Jungkook is sprinting towards my direction.

Why is he in a rush?

I stood up from my seat, "Hey, is there anything you need?"

"No, I just need you to give me some advice and tips." He said while catching his breath. A wide smile is plastered on his face.

"About what?" I asked.

"Deanna!" Like a thunder striking me, I pulled Jungkook in a different place slowly so that he will not get suspicious that I'm running from someone.

What is Josh doing here?

I walked and walked until I found someplace that has a less crowd. Jungkook wonders why was I acting this way but I just told him that I'm cold. The moment I made sure that Josh is nowhere to be found, I asked him again.

"What do you need advice and tips for?"

He looks anxious for a bit but he smiled after saying, "I just asked Vanessa out on a date later and I don't know what to do. Care to give me some tips?"

Oh.

My lower lip started to tremble and I bit it to stop. The feeling that I just want to erase keeps coming back if he is making me do this.

Maybe feeling too much will help, maybe it'll make me feel numb.

"You alright?" He asked. He must've seen the look on my face. "I thought about asking you since you had a girlfriend before." He slightly laughed.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I composed myself up. "Uhm, take her to a fancy restaurant. If you'll take the bus, let her head rest on your shoulder. Walk her home and if you saw that her feet hurt, give her a piggyback ride. Girls love it." I gave him a smile enough for him to not identify the sadness within me.

"Okay, okay." He sounds eager to learn. "How about my clothes, what should I wear?"

"Black or white alway-s look good on you." I stuttered. I can't do this anymore. "Push your hair back," I suggested.

"That's it?" He questioned and I nod as an answer. "Cool. Thank you, Deonne." He suddenly pulled me into a tight hug and my body betrayed me when a tear escaped my eye.

"Are you crying?" He pulls away.

"I'm just a happy friend. You finally go-t to live your life normally, that's all." I stammered and laugh as I continue to wipe away the tears from my face.

He then pulls me into another hug to make me feel better. "You're the reason I'm living, Deonne." He said in a whisper.

This time I was the first one to break away from the hug. "Go and prepare, just call me if you need anything." I smiled bitterly.

He nods at me and he slowly walked away out of my sight. There, I sit on the ground and cried out.

I should be happy for him, and here I am faking it because of a stupid feeling I should've already let go the moment I arrived here in Seattle. But how can I do that if he is always next to me?

I fished for my phone inside my coat and dialed Yana's number. "Deanna! How's college?" She said with enthusiasm. "Mine has been so dreadful. I'm loaded with too many school and house works, I think I'm going to lose my mind... Hey, are you crying?"

"Y-es." I wailed. Thankfully, there are no people nearby.

"Why? What happened? Did Jungkook know?"

"No," I sniffed. "I should actually be happy because he found someone to date. I should be happy right? Tell me, please."

"Oh... I don't know what to say." She stalled. "But, it's reasonable for you to cry, so let it all out." I did what she told me, she listened to my weeping while on the other line she gives comforting words.

"You've just heard the guy you love your entire life ask you for some advice and tips for a date that is not with you. It's okay to cry, Deanna. You'll feel much better after this."

"Did you cry when Yoongi told you that he don't like you?" I asked.

"Of course," She laughed ruefully. "But I told you, I don't need him to love me back, I just need him to let me love him as much as I want to."

"But how can you be so selfless?" This time, I feel fine. I think I've cried enough for today.

"It's not being selfless. Think about it, selflessness is when you never fulfill your heart's desire while selfishness is when all I think about is what I want."

"You're selfless because you respect Yoongi's feelings about you and you are selfish because all you want is to love him even from afar," I said, analyzing her thoughts. "You balanced it."

"Maybe," She chuckled. "I still imagine, what if he likes me back? How wonderful could that be?"

"Any advice and tips you want to share with me? I think I might need dozens of it." I stand up.

"Deanna, it takes time." She said firmly. "Don't rush things, you can't control your heart, so this time listen carefully to what your mind says."

While walking back to the bench I was at earlier to get my back, Yana is still on the phone telling me stories about what is happening in their university. A little later after that, we both bid goodbyes and ended the call.

As I reached my destination, I didn't see my bag on the bench.

"Looking for this?" I turned around to see someone holding my bag.

"Hoseok?"