letters ; 5sos

letters from ashton 5.

dear ashley,

i went to work feeling really enthusiastic. i was looking forward to your visit at the cd shop but you didn't. you usually come around 10 am but you didn't.

i decided to go to mcdonalds if by chance you were there eating your big mac. but you weren't.

and that day made me think if you already left like what you told me you've always wanted to do. but i shook the negative thought away and let out some optimism instead. i thought maybe you did something that you weren't able to pay a visit at the cd shop or that you were sick. so i waited again the next day.

next day was just the same like it was before. you didn't come to the cd shop.

i didn't go to work on the third day. instead, i sat on the booth where we ate our big macs and waited the whole day for you.

it became my daily routine. i would go to work in hope of your presence, then i would sit at mcdonalds the next day, hoping if you would come. then go back to work the next day and then mcdonalds. my boss fired me because of that but i care the less.

was it the all time low concert with me that you left? was it the best and unforgettable moment you've always wanted? if by chance, were you able to fall in love? with me?

i lost hope after a few months. and i never did or do the things that reminds me of you ever again. i never went to mcdonalds again. i never eat burgers again. i never touched the envelope with the money in it again. i never ride trucks again. i never do photobooths again. i never went to any cd shops again. i never let anyone call me ash again. and i never listen to all time low or any other bands again.

i never listened to music ever again.

people were right, love does suck. i thought they were exaggerating but they weren't. i should've been more careful. although there was even this one time i went to the mall, i thought i saw you because of the confusing hair color and denim top but it wasn't you.  it seems like everything around me reminds me of you.

i don't want to write down how i am right now, i don't want anyone's pity but there is one thing i would assure you. i'm miserable.

but in my heart, there's still a little piece of hope that you would come back. that we would talk nonstop at the cd shop. that we would go at mcdonalds for big mac. that we would call each other ash then laugh like there's no tomorrow. that we would listen to all time low at your truck and you would tell me stories.

wherever you are, i know you're somehow thinking of me the way i'm thinking about you. i just hope you're fine.

i love you ash. i'm still waiting for the moment you would tell the same exact sentence back to me.

love,

ash xx