The Difference

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Jaemin sighs and leaves the bakery. It was Thursday, 4 days since the anniversary of his sister and mother's deaths. 4 days since he's fallen. His dad was with him a bit more now. Eating at meals with him. Checking in every once and awhile. But Jaemin knew that once he felt better, then his dad would go back to living in his office. He would go back to working in the shadows. It's how it always went. It's how his dad coped with the pain. With the loss of his daughter and wife.

He leaves the comforting street that Moon Cakes sat on, not forgetting to lock the door behind him. It wasn't late at night, but the sky was a dark blue, the winter haze settling strongly. In fact, it was only around 7:30. Along with Jaemin, there were still some people taking evening walks or playing with their dogs. It reassured Jaemin a little bit, it was good to know he wasn't the only one outside still.

He makes his way down the sidewalk, breathing in the crisp winter air. It filled his lungs and made him shiver, he regretted not bringing a heavier jacket to wear. He had left it at home, expecting that he would be a bit hot from working in the bakery kitchen for 3 hours.

Something that Jaemin found slightly amusing about himself, was that whenever he was depressed or sad, he would go all out with his fashion. He would pick out his best and favorite outfits and wear them until he felt better. His style was a comforting, E-boy/grunge mix. Almost all black clothing, with an occasional white or gray accent. It comforted him in a way. And today was no different, he had worn probably his most favorite outfit. An oversized black, leather bomber jacket that hung loosely off his shoulders. His side strap bag instead of his classic backpack was slung across his chest. Skinny black jeans that were cuffed twice-over at the ankles. A black and white striped turtleneck that he got as a birthday present from Mark. With all that he paired his dirty, old Comme De Garcons Converses from tenth grade.

It was an outfit he enjoyed to the fullest, and he always felt quite confident wearing it, enough so that he took a mirror selfie in the bathroom of the bakery (which was another habit he got from feeling depressed).

Jaemin trudged down the streets until he reached the playground. It was empty of children and families now, the sun too far down for children to be out in public spaces. Jaemin was content with the silence though, it was calming and he enjoyed it. It helped him gather his thoughts. His headphones were plugged in, blasting 'Ice Age' by MCND. He makes his way towards the roof of the playset. The large, red, flat top just begging for Jaemin to lay on. He climbs up it with ease and sits atop the playset, smiling softly as the wind blows through his hair.

He was able to look across the city, the lights twinkling as the sky darkened, he always enjoyed dusk. When the clouds were dyed pink with the sun's rays. The sky stretching into a mesh of pinks, purples, blues, oranges, and golds. It calmed him down in a melancholy sort of way. Him and his sister used to sit atop their roof at their old house and watch the stars come out every summer night. Their mother would call them in for bed, and they'd fall asleep with the soft sunset image dancing behind their eyelids.