Stories to Tell

Finally, About Time

So, um hi... I'm finally deciding to at least write all this down because it always just comes to me whenever I hear of you and or see your name honestly so here I am.

How long has it been since I last said hi to you or even saw you?

How have you been?

Did you find someone?

You seemed to turn out great... I knew you were going to turn out well... fun fact at the start of the year I finally confessed to my mom and said I had liked you and that you even liked me back for a little bit.

Ha, I remember all the times I would shy away from you, thinking of it all you may have honestly been my first love because I have had many crushes by this point in time and not even my first crush had me whipped... Sorry, Nathan LOL.

Honestly though like I was thinking about it just before writing this I may have liked you so much because I admired you. You were there and being a great Christian that's all I had wanted to be when I was younger, I just wanted to see people smile and be happy. Of course, as you may see I no longer have that exact passion due to losing faith in so many people I thought cared... It's part of growing up from what I've learned so I'm getting better.

Yeah, sure I probably am disappointing younger me but that's not the point here lol. As I said, I admired you. I knew you were a great person and I wanted to know you, but that crush didn't let me too... I mean sure at one point we were friends and talked and everything. From what I can remember, you even took a screenshot from this one time we face-timed and as you can see, I'm NOT OVER that. Might just be because of the fact, no other guy ever expressed any liking towards me which also might be a reason towards why I could never really get over you. You will always be considered the boyfriend I never had. I literally wrote so much about you in my diary when I was younger, bro. It's funny honestly but you'll always be there and I'm honestly finally accepting that.

You technically aren't the one that ran away because I could have said I liked you too when you confessed to me that one time... but it's better that we turned out like this.

Yes sure, I would always get flustered low key when I had to interact with you but that's called lingering feelings of something I never got to experience. I'll always remember you and I'll most likely still get flustered by your presence and be shy towards you(doubt that now). Although honestly, I got better as I said I accept the fact that you may be my first whatever but like hey thanks for existing and liking me for however much time.

I'll most likely always remember your birthday because we were both born in April, and you have the birthday younger me always wanted so my birthday would have the same numbers in all parts as in 4's all around.

You'll always have a part of my mind, as in if someone mentions hey any crush or if I see you.

I'll never get over the fact that sometimes on tests I would choose the letter C in middle/elementary school just because it was your initial and not because C is for Correct... hopefully, you have been doing fine.

Even with everything happening right now I hope you're able to feel happy...

Love the author
The girl who could never express her feelings to you
Have a good life bro

PS: if you somehow found this and recognized this is about you...

Ummm thanks for giving me inspiration to at least write something. If you want me to take this down, just tell me or if you want an explanation LOL

Update:

I feel the need to write here once again.

Cause it seems you didn't turn out as nice as I would have thought.

I know you found someone but what gives you the right to disrespect someone who has helped your family and you?

Why did you getting into a relationship with someone who has papers get to your head?

You don't actually think she'd do such a complicated thing for you?

Call me petty but don't disrespect my dad.

Hope you aren't doing well. Wonder how it'll be when you see your world slips away from you, ah.

Call me sinister but it would be fun to see your family go down.

You have lost that spot in my heart or mercy I had.  

---A/N---

I did in fact write this about a past crush lol, I barely edited it to keep it raw but if you don't like this and are calling me a wuss for never saying anything to him,
HOW DARE YOU!

hopefully you have a wonderful day/night <3

~your author who is going through it atm