Stories to Tell

Dying Colors

Funny how I was so happy to do something, only for it to take all of my soul and consume any hope I had.

I had lost everything the moment it took over. I did not notice when it had even begun but knew it was over the moment, I felt all my emotions leave. My body no longer feeling. Left to live in a shell of my body. The hope in my world disappeared, all my colors turning to blacks and greys. The light of the sun no longer a source of happiness to my heart.

Everything that had made me move forward, staring back at me. Staring me in the eyes as I just stared back with my head wondering a desert. Funny thing is sad songs don't even seem that sad. They all are happy tones to me but something I cannot touch only just hear. The beats only are sound no longer flowing through my body, bringing a rhythm- a sense of life.

The only reason I live at is the fact that my lungs are still compressing and releasing asking for more oxygen from my heart. As the cells in my body still move to make me survive while my brain stayed still.

Struggling to process life.

My brain seemed to take in its surroundings but never truly breathing and storing everything that passed my eyes.

It was as if my eyes had truly become cameras just taking pictures of life but holding no emotions or thoughts to them. They were only a moment in life, they had no connections to me. Just as a rock passing through space, I spent my life floating on by everyone, existing just as that rock. I thought once I had the thing, I would be happy. It had betrayed me and taken my soul. I wanted my soul back but could never get it back. No matter how hard I tried to look for the colors of the rainbow all I could see was shades of black. I thought I had gotten better since the shades turned to a blue, but I had only fallen further into the darkness. Losing even more of myself to the void. Till one day I could no longer understand who I once was. I had only become a shell of the person I was. I could no longer remember any of the times I was happy or even saw colors.

Left only with the thoughts that always seemed to want to hurt me. Wanting me to give in fully to the void. I wondered how much longer I could handle. The colors soon turned red. It scared me. I felt an emotion for once. I didn't know how to react. The red grew darker. That was when I realized I was looking at my own reflection. A girl who looked like she had been to hell and back. The red seemed to take over more of my body. Only then had I noticed when I looked down it was coming from me.

The pain then struck. I had sliced my wrist and stomach. Soon the red turned purple as the shades of blue seemed to consume my eyes once again. I blinked trying to understand what was going.

It seemed as if all was well once again.

Each time I blinked a new color would return.

With the colors of the rainbow came my emotions.

I had begun to cry as the flow of red increased. The colors had brought memories of my life with them. All my feelings were struggling to be seen and show themselves.

I cried harder as I realized I was going to die.  Dying

That after finally seeing the rainbow I would be back to seeing black.

I tried my best to fight my eyes which threatened to close forever. I fell to my knees in front of the mirror now a pool of red around my body. The body that once had a tinge of life now becoming paler as the seconds passed.

I had stopped crying as I saw the most recent memories of my life pass.

I could only feel regret as my body gave up, falling into the pool of red. Lying on my side in pain I closed my eyes, remembering the life I had with a smile on my face.

Even though I had seen only black for most of my life I wouldn't have it any other way. My eyes closed welcoming the darkness that had become my home.

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎
𝓐/𝓝

Slightly inspired by Zombie- Day6 and my emotions of today

PS- finally decided to publish this after some rough editing