Silly Stories To Keep You Occupied In Quarantine Because I'm Bored!

I Laughed When My Mum Told Me This Story

So, my mum had this friend and they were quite close. My mum's friend knew this old man who she helped and looked after on weekends because, like, she volunteered at this care home. Also, they were quite good friends and he remembered knowing her parents from way back when.

Anyways, this one time when my mum's friend had gone round to visit this old bloke, he asked her, "Do you like Brazilian nuts?" and when she said that she did, he offered her a big bag of Brazil nuts. She politely took them, said thank you, then left.

The next week, the man asked if she wanted another bag of Brazil nuts because he'd ordered another big pack. This seemed a little weird that he'd ordered some just to give them away to her, but she assumed he just wanted to get her something nice and that's why she took a second bag.

Each time my mum's friend went round to see this old dude, he'd end up giving her more Brazilian nuts and she just couldn't understand the reasoning behind it all. One day, she just could not help herself and she just had to say it.

"You don't have to keep giving me all these big bags of Brazil nuts, you know? I'm running out of space in my cupboards at home!"

He just smiled back at her and said, "Well, you know, once I've sucked off all the chocolate on top, they're pretty much useless to me because I can't eat them with no proper teeth!"

My mum's friend just stood there, frozen in shock and wanting to throw up. He'd been sucking them before giving them to her this whole time! GROSS!