Sev and Kotsu were just watching TV on a boring day, sitting on the couch. Kasakila was exploring the parts of the castle she hadn't seen much with Kaskan, Kasunobu, and a few of the other myths. Spinneret was out doing her work as the myth of aging, aka being the new head to the grim reapers. The King of Spades pulled her lollipop out of her mouth with a pop and looked at it boredly. Without really thinking, she turned to her friend sitting beside her. "Hey, Kotsu, what do you think this lollipop tastes like? I can't tell."
Kotsu looked back at her with a hum then looked at the lollipop, and also without really thinking, put it in his mouth for a quick second and looked away, pondering. "Hm.." He looked back at her with an answer" Marshmallows, and.. cold saliva."
At that moment, Damu walked into the living room and crossed his arms, propping them up on the couch with a casual expression, his eyes taking interest in what was on TV. "Yeah, saliva is better when fresh."
The two dumbasses on the couch froze in confusion, breaking a sweat, simultaneously looking up slowly at the man behind them, who looked completely unphased, just watching TV like he didn't really notice how weird his words were just now. They both stared at him for a moment.
Sev was the first to break the long silence. "...Damu?"
He looked at her. "What?"
Kotsu had fear in his eyes. "..What the fuck does that MEAN??"
Damu huffed out a laugh and facepalmed before looking back at the two of them. "Oh my god you dumbasses- I meant it as in kissing"
Kotsu blinked. "..Why would you taste another person's saliva while kissing them??"
She looked at him and went a bit pale, knowing what was going to happen, and already knowing exactly what was going on in Damu's mind right now. Literally. "Oh no-"
Just as Sev thought, Damu smirked and turned to face Kotsu, looking him in his innocent little eyes "Well, you see-"
"Ahaha,, don't worry Kotsu the human lips don't actually open up holes and release saliva upon contact with another pair of lips to prepare for s--"
"WHAT THE FUCK????"
"fuck-"
"GET OUT, SALIVA COMES FROM THE TONGUE-"
Damu grinned teasingly. "tsk tsk tsk.. stop lying Sev, we all know that thats not true.. And while you may be right Kotsu-
She cut him off in anger and panic. "Bitch, that was what yOU were gonna S-"
Damu put his arms around Sev, covering her mouth and at the same time putting her in headlock. She struggled but was too afraid for her neck stitches to actually put more effort into escape. Damu looked at Kotsu and smiled. He looked back in concern, confusion and suspicion.
Damu hummed as Sev continued to yell muffled curses. "Don't listen to her Kotsu, the truth is.."
"saliva also comes from teeth."
Kotsu didn't buy it but was obviously disturbed by the idea. "But- but teeth are BONES?? Wait, WHAT DOES TEETH HAVE TO DO WITH FUCKING KISSING???"
Sev bit Damu's arm and he yelped, letting go. "Okay uh- in all seriousness, there's this thing called.."
Kotsu looked at her, confused and disturbed. She gulped, while the gay green eyed Aussie behind her only grinned wider, nudging her. "Hey, you have a mouth, now, don't you? Go on!"
Sev groaned and winced, looking away for a second to curse under her breath. "Oh goddammit-" she braced herself and looked back up at the King of Hearts nervously. "so uh..tongue......kissing...."
Kotsu squinted with furrowed brows in confusion and disgust. "..What in the fuck-- Wh y???"
Damu kept grinning and pushed Sev out of the way, leaning closer to Kotsu, who backed up a bit. "Wait til you hear about what other things the tongue can do- You could also let me uh.." he chuckled, giving Kotsu a teasing look. "Show you--"
Sev and Kotsu both groaned.
"Oh my fuck, get out"
"Yeah, no thanks, get out."
Damu looked down and laughed, standing back up. He looked at them again. "Alright~ but do know this,"
"you technically both kissed since you shared that lollipop."
And he walked away.
Sev and Kotsu sat there in silence, Kotsu questioning his life decisions and Sev internally screaming in awkward regret.
It was so, so very silent.
"Is it technically tongue kissing if you cut off 2 tongues and put them together?"
The two looked around to look at Marso, who had just walked into the living room from the kitchen, a finger by his chin as he pondered it. The three were silent for another few seconds as the rulers of Hearts and Spades glanced at each other before looking back at Marso.
"..Yeah probably, I'd say it were necrophilia but that'd be when a living being licks a cut tongue of a dead body.. Wait, actually, are the tongues live or dead?" Sev answered.
Marso dropped his arm back down to his side and shrugged. "I'd say live."
"..Would it count? The tongue itself is dead, but the owner is still alive so.. Maybe??"
Sev hummed. "I guess, but the lips arent there so its still in question"
"..huh." He looked down in contemplation. He looked back up and continued. "By the way, about the thing you mentioned, saliva coming out of lips-"
She laughed awkwardly and waved her hands to dismiss it. "No, that's not true--"
"Yeah, but what if it was and we all just never realized it, you know how lips kind of have layers of skin?? What if... those are the covers for the saliva releasing holes..?"
"...."
"...."
She sighed and smiled. "I wish I no longer had a human body."
"Same-"
Marso was still by the door of the kitchen, looking down and pondering, still questioning the kissing tongues thing and mumbling to himself. "..Maybe I'll test it- or just get ice cream.. I'll just decide later." He smiled and walked away, back into the kitchen.
--×--
The grand, heavy wood door to the castle opened, and in came the other Chapu twin, panting, sweaty, covered in literal garbage, and holding the handles to a roller, rolling an atm in with cash falling out and broken and open electric wires dangerously buzzing at the back. He let the cart stand up and panted heavily, one hand on his knee and another on the cart still, nearly pulling it back down as he tries to keep himself from giving out.
He looked up to find Sev and Kotsu staring at him. Not confused or anything, just staring with a look that says 'wow, what a dumbass.'
Dee shook his head, speaking between breaths. "you.. all have no idea what I've just been through."
Kotsu looked away, filing his black nails. "Let me guess- You impulsively stole an atm, then someone called the cops so you had to hide in the garbage?"
Dee sighed in defeat. "yeah."
Sev hummed and looked him up and down, seeing the scratches. "..and there was a raccoon?"
Dee looked at her then around in confused pondering, before looking back at her. "..g o o d q u e s t i o n "
"I don't know if it was a shaved, small eared raccoon or their baby but either way the lil shit was angrier than its parents when i took their drugs to sell it."
