Kotsu and Damu were in the meeting lounge area- whatever the hell it was, just chilling. "Do you even masturbate?" Damu asked after a moment of dumb thoughts.
"No, what the fuck"
"wait wHAT WHY"
Kotsu, an asexual who is completely pushed away from the thought of shit like that because of the man, the demon, the legend: Damu Chapu, looked at the legend himself. "I don't want to???? Unlike you, you horny bastard??"
"wHAT I- HOW DO YOU RELEASE ALL THE PENT UP FRUSTRATION"
Kotsu did a double take, looking away from his book in confusion from the weird question. "PENT UP FRUSTRATION??"
"PENT UP FRUSTRATION- IS THIS WHY YOU'RE SO PISSY ALL THE TIME"
"IS THAT HOW IT EVEN WORKS"
"I DONT KNOW PROBABLY"
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN PROBABLY??"
"I MEAN- I DON'T KNOW IT'S NO FUCKING WONDER YOU'RE DEAD"
-Later-
Their librarian, Mazi, stared at them, holding her door open. "So.. You mean to tell me, to go to a tharapist or psychologist and ask what happens if a person doesn't masturbate?"
"Yeah."
"So you'll do it?"
Mazi laughed, then looked at them with her eye twitching "of course not" She said coldly, slamming the door closed.
"fuck, what now" Kotsu said, looking at Damu.
"Maybe we can ask Sev-"
Kotsu's eyes widened, remembering her gun. "NO"
"Okay, fair enough you pussy-"
"yOU'RE THE PUSSY HERE, YOU-"
Damu sighed. "-fucking slut, I know the drill- Hmm.. Marso? Dee would get a kick out of stealing from a doctor during an appointment-"
A cabinet door opened from behind them, and Dee came out of it. "You little shits, I'm in."
-
Dee sprinted out of the building carrying an entire goddamn safe and jewelry. "RUN"
Kotsu accepted his fate as he followed Dee, running. Damu ran too, sirens approaching in the distance. "I knew this was a shit idea from the moment you walked in-"
Damu held onto his hat as he ran. "THAT REMINDS ME OF TAYLOR SWIFT'S I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE"
"WHAT THE FUCK, DAMU??" Kotsu said, staring at him.
"YOU HOE, YOU'RE RIGHT" He continued.
"WHY ARE YOU COMPARING ME TO TAYLOR SWIFT'S EX BOYFRIEND"
"BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT YOU PROBABLY STOLE HER HEART AND SOLD IT"
"OH MY FUCKING-"
-
Kotsu stood there with a sigh, tugging on the handcuffs around his hand, the cuffs cutting through his wrists, blue mist flowing as they reformed again. "We need help."
Marso looked at him then at Damu with a smile. "After that bank robbery a couple weeks ago? No."
"damn it- there goes my foursome imagines-"
Dee shakes his head at Damu, wearing the crown and necklaces he stole. "I had a feeling that's what you were thinking about."
Damu slowly turned his head to look at him with a deadpan stare, and smacks the crown off his head.
