i have no idea what to do. i understand that people can change but should i dip my toes into the icy water of trust again? it doesn't feel warm like it used to, it's unfamiliar. a lot of things are changing and most of it's going well. i'm still trying to move forward but there are things that i'd like to do better now rather than before. it's kinda scary since you have to meet people all over again ..-* is it worth it?
i don't know, i'd really have to think about it. i'd have to think about letting people in again to meet who i am now. what if i do so and they don't like it? .. but what if they do? it's hard.
i'd like to talk to some of the people in my past but i don't really know how to. not because i don't miss them, but i don't know how things will go. i know we won't be as close as before. it's a change but i've thought about it .. i have a big heart so i'm prone to chances, but i'll only give them if i think you deserve it, so i guess i'll go figure that out soon. i guess it's also kinda scary because you don't know what could happen in an instant. not necessarily a fight, but a disagreement or an accident could challenge you both on how you handle things now instead of before.
i've also been thinking about looking for a girlfriend (i'm bisexual, btw). i think i'm ready for that responsibility, i think i'm ready to be happy more by being WITH someone. i don't need to be with someone to be happy, but i'd like to be able to make someone happy (: everything will work out on its own terms though adn that''s okay too.
this are random thoughts that have been buzzing in my head for a little while. i think a lot but i can handle it better when the words are in front of my face. i have this tendency to type whatever i think off-rip; 99% of everything i've written was random and spontaneous.
on top of that, corona is iNSANE!! i'm inside typing this on my couch, lol. i don't really like being at home 25/8 but i guess it's fine (i normally just listen to music or sleep). i hope you guys are safe!! check in with your loved ones and wash your haaannddss c:
i'll be trying to post more, maybe every night or so? i'll make an announcement later today (:
YOU ARE READING
Moving Forward
Poesíathis is a new chapter of my life. i'm becoming happier with where i'm going and who i'm going to be. this story will bring the ups and downs of moving passed difficult times and still working through them. i wish you all a good read. thank you (:
