You are the reason

First Meeting

The crew meetings had been going well lately. After each appointment, I'm getting requests for additional meetings, which is a good sign. Up next was the Captain. Now let me tell you, it's been a challenge to get him to make an appointment, but I eventually managed it by reminding him that I would pester him until he agreed- that and the threat of Number One hounding him too. I looked up as I heard my office door chime.

"Come in." I said.

The doors slid open and the Captain walked in- a slightly apprehensive look on his face. I stood up and held my hand out.

"Captain, its a pleasure to finally meet you properly." I said, smiling.

He shook my hand and replied "Likewise. And please allow me to officially welcome you to the Enterprise."

"Thank you, sir." I said as I sat down.

The Captain sat down and looked at me expectantly.

"So, Captain, how are you faring?" I asked.

"Good. Being in space brings me a sense of peace that I can never find on Earth." He replied, looking out the window.

I nodded and started typing on my PADD. The Captain must have noticed this because before I knew it, the PADD was taken from my hands. I looked at the Captain and he smiled at me.

"Captain, I'm going to need that back." I said.

"What for?" he asked.

"Psychological evaluation." I stated.

"Why do you need to do that?" he asked, obviously testing me.

"I'm just following procedure." I replied calmly.

He nodded and handed my PADD back to me. We spent the next hour talking about him, how he's been feeling lately and how I can help him to have the best mental state possible. I eventually deemed he was of sound mind and drafted a plan to help keep his mind sharp and healthy. I could tell when he left that he was slightly annoyed, but I don't know why. Since it was the end of my shift, I turned off all the lights in my office before making my way back to my quarters. I walked in, dropped my PADD on my chair and went to the bathroom. I turned on the sonic shower, took off my uniform and stepped in. The warm water immediately soothed my aching back and throbbing head. I let out a breath and allowed all the stresses of the day to fade away. After washing my hair, I turned the shower off, dried my body, got into my pyjamas and crashed into bed. I was so exhausted I immediately fell asleep.

----

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest. I held my communicator tight to my chest, praying someone would make it in time. I could hear Roger slowly walking into the room.

"Where are you?" he asked menacingly.

I held my breath and stayed as still as I could. I suddenly got a feeling that I wouldnt make it out of this alive.

"I know youre here." He said.

I pressed my back as far into the wall as it would go and stayed as still as a statue. Suddenly, the closet door was ripped open. My eyes went wide as he came into view.

"Found you."

----

I sat bolt upright in bed, sweat dripping down me. I pushed the flyaway strands of hair out of my face and took a few deep breaths before pushing myself out of bed. I pulled on my thick jumper, grabbed a book and made my way to the observation deck, knowing sleep would allude me for the rest of the night. I walked in and found it empty- thank god. I found the most comfortable chair in the corner and began to read. I don't know how long I was reading, but I was brought out of my thoughts when the doors opened. I looked up and saw the Captain walk in. He was dressed in a grey sweatshirt and matching sweatpants. He spotted me and looked surprised at my presence.

"Captain." I said as I started standing up.

"At ease, were not on duty." he said.

I slumped back into my chair, exhaustion beginning to take over.

"Counsellor, how long have you been here?" he asked.

"I don't know sir. I woke up in the middle of the night and I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep, so I came here." I said.

He walked over to where I was and sat next to me.

"So, why would you think you wouldn't get back to sleep? Does Dr. Boyce need to check you out?" he asked, concern clear on his face and in his voice.

I shook my head and said, "It's not medical, and I don't want to talk about it right now."

He nodded and said "Alright, I won't push you, but if you want to open up you know where to find me. Even a counsellor needs someone to talk to."

I nodded and said "I really appreciate it sir. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go back to my quarters."

He nodded and I stood up and walked out. As I was heading back to my quarters, I couldn't stop thinking about the Captain and how kind he was to me. I felt like eventually, I would tell him the truth, but I just wasn't ready yet.