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7

It's a cloudy day. The sky is becoming dark in every minute just the way i like. I can feel few drops of rain pouring at my head as I'm walking towards the coffee shop. I'm meeting yugyeom today.

Yesterday was awful. I couldn't sleep at all. Whenever i closed my eyes, i could see taehyung's eyes, beaming with tears. It was like a nightmare though i was awake. I can't help but feel bad about the whole situation.

I entered the coffee shop. There isn’t many people due to rain. Yugyeom was sitting at a corner, sipping his coffee. I walked to him and sat beside him.

"Hey." yugyeom breathed softly.

"Hey, what do you wanna tell me?" i asked. He texted me yesterday, saying he has something important to tell me. I guess, It's the secret they both were hiding from me.

"I heard what you said to taehyung. You shouldn’t have done that. He didn’t do anyth-"

"Did you call me here to say what i should and not?" i cut him, irritated.

He sighed and looked at his coffee. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Yeah, whatever. Listen Jungkook, it's true I haven’t told you something. But i didn’t want to hide it. I-i just wasn’t ready, you know? I was scared you would judge me."

"Why would i judge you?" i asked, bemused.

"Because i know you would."

Feeling unsteady and ignoring everything,  i said, " just tell me, dammit!"

"I'm gay and I'm in a relationship with a boy." he said quite fast than usual.

I froze for some seconds. Couldn’t form my words what to say, i looked at him with shocked eyes.

'Did i hear right? Y-yugyeom is g-gay? My best friend is a faggot?'

"That's disgusting." i blurted out.

"I knew you’d judge me. That's why i didn’t say anything. It's 21st century, Jungkook. Being gay isn’t disgusting. What matters the most is people's character, not their sexuality. And you know what's disgusting? You! You behaving like a total asshole to your friends." he snapped, his breath uneasy.

Again, i didn’t know what to say. His words playing in my head nonstop. I took some deep breaths, trying to work my brain for once.

"I-i d-don... B-but.. Your father is a priest. Your whole family is christian and they'll never accept this, you know that right?" i finally found my words.

He looked so sad hearing my words. I can't even imagine what's going on his head. He was looking like a lost child, trying to settle down. He glanced at me and said, "I know. But i can't do anything. I can't change myself. I am who i am."

The icy grey sky restlessly grumbled outside. The thick blackened clouds were dragged down by the heavy rain which it held in its delicate frame. I heard the rain drumming on the window as my heart was beating with the same rhythm as we sat there silently.

He broke the silence, calling my name softly. I nodded my head encouraging him to continue. He exhaled deeply before continuing.

"I really don’t expect you to just accept this all of a sudden. I know it’s a lot to take as we both had born among homophobic people. B-but, i don’t want you to hate me. If you don't want me around, i won't be. J-just don’t hate me, please? " he said looking into me, his eyes saying more words than his lips.

I remained silent the whole time, still functioning everything. Heart and brain started to fight finding the right words. I can sense this eyes on me, wanting something from me. I felt numb, still avoiding his eyes.

He sighed for the 46th time and said," It's 'kay. You don’t have to answer. I'll be going now. We'll talk when you’re ready." Saying so he stood up, leaving.

Just before he could leave, he turned over, his eyes again on me. "And don’t bother taehyung. Leave him out of this." he said and left.

I stared at the empty chair blankly.It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored. I wished all this was a nightmare.

I stood up, paying the bill, walking out of the cafe, feeling the cold breeze out there. Water washes over my skin so strongly that it feels as if I am in the flow of a river rather than a rain shower, one that leaves me standing yet lets me know that it is here to stay for a while. And so the only thing to do is to keep walking, to accept it as easily as the air I am breathing, to see it run over the earth beneath my soft soles.

I stood with the water running freely down my face and into my already soaked clothes. I looked up at the darkened sky, seeing the groaning thunderstorm, suddenly realising what i should do.

'I should help Yugyeom. He isn’t in his right mind. And as his friend, i have to help him."

I searched for some shade, running towards it, brain still fuzzy, trying to absorb the comprehension. I reached out for my phone and dialed a number. It took 2-3 rings for the person to pick it up.

"H-hello... H-hello a-aunty? I-i have to tell something."

Present ~~

I still regret my decision that day. I shouldn’t have done that. That day, i didn’t just lose my best friend but also his trust and love.

But as everyone says, "Everything happens for a reason" so i have to accept it. I know my decision changed a lot things that day but some changes were good too.....

WORDS : 1002

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Am i the only person who loves sitting all day at home and doing nothing? Quarantine really boosted my introvert vibe. 😌
#AntiSocialHeaven

Stay home and stay safe. Wash your hands too. 💜💜