Something Unexpected

16

Ahn Hyejin

We should never have this feeling. The feeling of possessiveness. When we saw the way they whispered to each other, we feel lost. It seems like we are losing someone soon.

We should feel happy. But why can't we feel happy? Is it because we are afraid that she will spend most of her time with him.

We are the one who urge her to have boyfriend. For ten years, she's been lonely. She only have us as friends who she acknowledge as family.

Someone who she cherish the most.

I am the one who always push her to be with Changkyun but seeing her really care for him make me hurt a little.

Without knowing a lone tear fall on my cheek. Seeing her being hug from a guy makes me numb.

I look at Wheein and Yongsun unnie to see them smile. They smile bitterly at the scene in front of them.

I know at that time that we still couldn't let her go. We just couldn't let her free from our grasp. We completely her held captive in our imaginary cage that we unconsciously made.

I choke at the thought and turn around to held in my tears from falling freely.

"I am sorry Byulyi unnie. I really am. This time I am gonna let you go for real." I said to myself while holding my chest.

"It hurts." I cry silently and hit my chest softly as if asking it to stop hurting.

It's good that I am the only one who break down but I know that Wheein and Yongsun unnie are hurting inside.

The two of them smile weakly at me when I return. Wheein put her hand behind my back and rub it as if trying to soothe me from this heartache.

I give her a thankful smile and the three of us look at the scene again.

This time all of us have a genuine smile.
...
Yesterday, Changkyun hug me openly. For the first time in ten years I am being hug like that by a guy.

The warm feeling make me feel like at home. Its the warmth that I feel when he save me. It still feel the same even though it's been almost a month already.

I am lying on my back while humming a random note.

We just finished practice and the other three members just disappear. They didn't even inform me and left me all alone here.

They didn't even look suspicious at all. I know it if they want to prank me but I can't feel it today. Maybe they really are busy.

Even after they see Changkyun hug me, they  look completely normal. I assume they would fire question at me but nothing.

I shouldn't worry about them. But I still couldn't help but think about the way they behave today. Nothing is different. It's completely normal but why do I feel like I am missing something.

Why am I feeling like this? Why do I feel like I am at ease when I am with them? I feel like I am free to move around now.

"But why?" I accidentally said it loudly.

"Why what?" Changkyun voice suddenly pops out.

I didn't notice that I close my eyes when I am thinking about my other members.

As I open my eyes,I instantly see Changkyun sit beside me. He was smiling seductively at me.

He touch my furrowed eyebrows and chuckle.

"You will ruin your beautiful face if you frown too much." He back away when he heard the door open.

"Hey." He greeted them.

Yongsun unnie just smile at him while the two girls greet him back.

After that they do their own thing, it's as if Changkyun isn't even there. They don't even glance at me at all.

It bothers me but when their eyes meet me, they smile at me. Their smile is not force but I can't help but feel empty.

"Is there something wrong?" I can't help but asked them.

The three of them just arc their eyebrows and look at each other dumbfound.

"No why?" Yongsun look weirdly at me.

"It just that I feel like you guys suddenly feel distant from me but at the same time not. I don't know how I should explain this."

"It feels weird because you guys behave normally and being happy for me. It's not a bad things but I feel weird." I ranted.

"I feel like I am missing something from you guys or maybe because of the sudden lost I feel from this behavior. I do feel at ease but I can't help but feel sad."

"At the thought of you guys leaving me or letting me move alone makes me feel scared." I look at them with tears in my eyes.

The three members seem shock at my sudden outburst.

"What are you talking about?" Hyejin walk towards me and hug me. She chuckle at my teary face and tiptoe to kiss my forehead.