Luna's Heart

Chapter 33. Grief

x Rosie x

They were taken from me too early. They didn't even get to see my first birthday. I never got to bury them, or say my good byes. They were taken from me too soon. Of all the days for this to come up, why this day. The day Gray wanted to try to make special.

I want my parents. I can't do this without them. Who's going to walk me down the aisle? They've been gone so long, why is this coming up now. Why is it coming to the surface now? I never thought I'd ever get married or find my mate. I have and its going to happen now. But I can't even have my parents there to celebrate and be here for me during it.

Luca's lost just as much as I have but he has the memory of his parents to fall back on. I don't. Were safe now but the damage is already done. I grip the sheets as I let my tears stream down my face. This loss is something we should never had had to go through. I want my parents back. I want to see there faces and hear their voices.

Luca comes in and hugs me close with tears of his own. I hug hum close. I didn't mean to put my own pain onto him. I know he has his to deal with too now, but he shouldn't have had to feel mine.

I run my hands through his hair as we cry. I kiss his forehead as I let him get his pain out of his system. The pain of losing my family and my adopted family is hard for me to over come. I want them here to celebrate with us. To rejoice in what's to come now. But they are in a better place watching over us as we can finally be unafraid.

My heart wants to bleed out everywhere even though it feels cold with pain. It feels as if my body aches with this pain. We are safe, we are safe. I shouldn't be upset or hurting. I miss them but I have grown past it. Why is it affecting me so much?

"Luca everything is fine now you know that right?" I ask him with a kiss on his forehead.

"I know. Just I miss them so much Rosie." He sniffles to me. I hug him close trying to help sooth his pain.

"I know how you feel. I miss your parents as well and my own. I know the feeling all to well Luca. I know its hard, we just have to let this grief pass. Let the tears out. We are safe and no one else is at risk." I tell him, trying to keep my voice steady.

He nods his head into me as he hugs me tight. I take a few deep breaths and my tears slow. Our world is safe. No more murderous Alpha out there. No more worrying who'd be dead or when it will happen. We are safe.

Gray comes into our room and sees us laying on the bed. I know he feels our pain. I don't want anyone feeling our grief. I try to not let it go to everyone else. They may feel a dull ache like the feeling of having to sneeze. But they shouldn't feel what Im feeling. Gray I know will always feel how I feel. I love him for just being here.

There isn't a lot of space behind me but he manages to lay behind me none the less and hug me close to him. I lean into him. He does comfort me, easily. I just don't like how this happened today. We knew it was going to come around just thought it was going to be sooner or later not this day.

Luca has at least stopped crying himself. That's a good sign, I guess. I know his heart is still heavy, like mine, but he can easily bounce back from this pain. I know this will pass and become a bit more numb to it. But in order for that to happen I have to feel this pain, to be able to grieve it so I can move on.

"You both are going to be fine." Gray murmurs to us both.

"I know Alpha." Luca says quietly.

"I know Gray. Just something we all go through at least once." I tell him not liking this. Necessary maybe, but still not fun. He easily puts me at ease just by being in the room. I crave him all the time, just like he craves me. I lean my head back into him as he gives me a gentle squeeze.

Luca takes a few deep breaths and looks up at us. I smile at him, seeing his eyes red and swollen slightly from crying. He hugs us both together.

"Thank you both for this." Luca says thankful for what we did. I would do anything to protect him and I've shown him that already. So has Gray. Luca gets off the bed and leaves the room. I know he will be ok. Just hope he's not leaving because Gray is here now. Maybe he just needs some time alone.

Gray moves so he isn't on the edge of the bed and hops over me carefully. He takes my hand and holds them close to him. He runs his thumb across the ring on my hand smiles. Even though I'm feeling like this he still manages to make my heart skip. He kisses my forehead and holds me close.

"I know it hurts now, but I promise it will get easier ok. You are a strong woman Rosalind. You have overcome so much and you protect Luca through it all as well. We knew this was going to happen ok. I am always here for you. I will help you get through this." He tells me, running his hand through my hair.

I nod my head into his chest. I can't count on my voice being steady or my tears starting up again. He kisses the top of my head. He's fierce and soft. I'm glad I can call him mine. He runs his fingers along my back. It is soothing to have him do that, along with the kisses he gives me. I think the worst of it is over. I just don't want this to affect me or Luca again.

"It does. I appreciate that and I know it will get easier. Just everythings coming down at once now. I never thought I'd meet you, or get married. It just came in at me all at once. I miss my parents so much and when this day came...they would have loved to have met you I'm sure and walk me down the aisle. Even Lucas parents would have loved this and meet you. Just it all came at me at once and I am truly sorry for getting upset like this." I tell him as some tears come down my cheeks again. I know I need to talk abut it to help heal. Just don't want to talk about it either.

"I know love. I know how much you miss them. I know its hard for you to talk about this as well ok. Just take your time ok we have the rest of our lives together. This hurts now but I promise it will get easier. There's nothing to be sorry about alright. We can celebrate or do something special anytime ok." He says giving me another tight hug.

"I know. I appreciate you so much." I tell him truthfully feeling his mood being so light and airy. Even though mine is not so, it helps me try to get out of this a bit. I know he's doing anything he can to help me feel better.

"I know you appreciate it and I know Luca does as well. You helped him just as much today even though your going through your own grief as well. You both are lucky to have each other. I am lucky to have you both in my life and our pack. You've made life worth living and my pack better. You saved us all. We will get through this together." He says giving my hands a nice squeeze to remind me hes always here.

I nod again. I'm glad. He's so thoughtful. I kiss his chest since its closer than his lips. He chuckles.