Luna's Heart

Chapter 40. Amends

X Gray x

"I know I haven't exactly shown it always or been here for you Gray but I did what I had to, to protect you as well. I do love you and your sisters. Its not always easy to see that and I get why you've been unconsciously holding on to this. But you've moved on, grown up and starting a family. You've done very well for yourself." My mom tells me before taking a sip of water.

"I know, you've said it before. Just will take time ok. I know I moved on I had to. The past doesn't help anyone." I tell her. Even though I've focused on not clenching my teeth, its still put pressure on my head, giving me a massive headache right now.

I get up and pace the living room. My mom taps her fingers against her leg nervously as well. I want to forgive her, for leaving. She says its for my sake but still. It doesn't mean she should have left.

Sweetie, calm down please. Your tension is giving me a headache. I know your hurting. Its a good thing that she's talking with you and trying to explain the best she can. Rosie mind-links me.

I can't help this. I'm nervous as fuck right now dear. I want to forgive her. Its just so much in such a little time my head is killing me. I know she is, its just all so confusing. Baby, I don't know what to do. I tell her as I run a hand through my hair. I know my mom is watching me even if she looks away every time I turn.

I can help in anyway I can but whatever your gut is telling you, you got to go from there. I can say try to forgive your mom; I know you want to have that bond with her. But if you feel like you can't forgive her and move on then try to understand why you feel like that ok. I don't think she purposely meant to hurt you or your sisters. But there's things that you have gone through that she maybe should have helped with. I do hope you can come to terms with it dear I really do. I want you to be able to have her in your life. Rosie tells me.

I know she's concerned for me and I know she can feel my doubt and uncertainty. But I can also feel that she's right and to make a choice. Even without trying she's always right here for me, helping me. My perfect mate found me and I get the pleasure of marrying her. I am worried about this but Rose is right I don't want to lose my mom again.

I love you so much Rosie. You're my life, thank you. I say to her.

I know my love and I love you too. She says back. I can feel her kiss through our bond. I send one to her.

I know my pacing is putting not only my love on edge but my mom as well. She pulled on her fingers again slightly.

"Mom I do love you, its just I don't know what I'm supposed to do with all this." I tell her confused.

"I know. I can only imagine. The only thing you can do is take it as is or ignore it Gray. I am sorry for leaving like I did and abandoning you and your sisters. I truly am sorry." She says finally placing her hands together in her lap.

I look at her as I stand across the room from her. I know she means well and I know she's sorry. I have missed her and always hoped she was well.

"I believe you ok. Just will take time to move past from this all right. I have missed you." I shiver slightly as my heart feels like ice slightly. I know it will take time to really be able to move on but I have to start somewhere. "Mom, soon enough we will be making plans about our wedding. We have set a date and have a maid of honor for Rosie and I have a best man. Don't have much else. If you want to stay you can, but if you wanted to go back and see Remy and Lyra, I get that too."

She looks at me with her soft smile. She crosses her legs. I can't stand still as I fidget in my spot.

"I am glad your going to take this and move past from it. I know you will be making plans ok, and I wish you all the best. I do want to visit them and I will be soon ok. I just really wanted to spend some time with you and I finally got that. Gray I would like to be apart of your life now. I've missed so much already and I don't want to miss anymore." She says getting up and walking over to me.

"Mhm. I am glad we got some time together as well. Even if it wasn't conventional. When you see them please let them know I've missed them ok." I say with a half smile. Why it feels weird to do that I'm not sure but it will go away soon enough I'm sure.

"I will tell them that you miss them ok. I'm sure they miss you as well ok. I know I've overstepped my bounds a bit but I do hope to see you again soon ok." She says taking my hand into hers.

"Thanks. I hope you will be safe in your travels." I say to her as she lets go of my hand.

"I will. Be safe ok." She says smiling softly as we walk to the front door.

I nod to her. She picks up her bag and waves to me with a slight smile on her face. She opens the door and looks back at me. I wave to her. She gives me a slight nod and leaves. I close the door and lean against it. I take a deep breath. Hopefully this is good.