Broken ||A Sodapop Curtis Love Story||

Chapter 4

Emily's POV:
Every day since Soda's left, I've just gone to school, gone home, and sat around doing nothing. I haven't seen the gang in a week, and I don't plan to. It'll just hurt too much. I haven't said a word to anyone, other than when I'm forced to at school and I refuse to eat anything.

I'm in a state of denial that he's even gone, or as Two-Bit says, depression. He says it's not good for me and if something's wrong, I should tell him. But I think he already knows. No, I know he knows. He knows how close Soda and I were, it's just hitting me harder than it should. But it's hard when the love of your life is risking potential death in a different country where you might never see him again.

"Hey, Emily," Two-Bit says. I can already tell it's serious, he almost always calls me Emmi. I just look up at him.

"Can we go out for a few minutes? I wanna take you somewhere," He says. I shake my head no. I just want to sit at home, do nothing. I have homework, anyways, but I don't tell him that. He takes a deep breath, obviously done with it.

"Come on, Emily," He says, taking my hand. I don't fight, but I do wonder we're going. I don't ask, just get in the car.

Soon enough, we're parked in the driveway of the Curtis house.

No.

No.

No no.

No. I can't do it. I can't be here.

I put my head in my hands, and try not to let myself cry, but all of those horrible memories are flowing back to me. It's just another horrible reminder of Soda being gone.

"It's ok, sis. We're all going through the same thing. Let's just go inside," He says. His voice is more gentle, sympathetic now, but he knows that's not true. Yeah, they were all close to Soda, but it's... different for me.

I walk in the door silently and immediately hear Steve, Darry and Ponyboy's voices, "Hi, Two. Hey, Emily."

Two-Bit responds with a cheerful, "Hey, everyone! What's up?" They seem normal, not zombie-like, like I am. For me, everything seems to be in a daze. Like nothing's real, and nothing even matters... I ease myself down on the couch, next to Ponyboy and Steve, two of my least favorite people. Remind me again why I'm here? Darry and my brother are the only people here that I like, but I can see Two-Bit at home, and they're both in the kitchen right now. I've never minded being around either Steve or Pony, they're part of the gang, but they are both a little bit rude to me.

And Ponyboy looks like a Mini-Soda.

"You know something?" Ponyboy asks, after a while of silence. We all look at him.

"I honestly wonder what Soda would say if he saw you like this right now, Emily. I think he would hate that you aren't talking, that you got yourself so depressed over him. It's disgusting that you were so head over heels for MY BROTHER, that you're not talking, starving yourself, and not doing anything. You used to come over here and hang out with us every day! What happened to that?" He asked. Tears form in my eyes but I immediately blink them away. I don't care if it's true, how could he say that to me?

"You better quit while you're ahead, Ponyboy, or else," I say. Everyone stares at me.

"She's back," Two-Bit says. Why? Because I said something? That means nothing. I could have talked whenever I wanted to, I just had nothing to say. Until now.

"I'm going out," I say, getting up and walking out. I purposely slam the door as I go. How could he say to that to me? What did I ever do to him? I'm not sure where I'm walking, nowhere in particular, but after a while I end up at the park, and decide to sit on the swings for a while. I fly up and down, back and forth, and it seems that all of that weight is somehow lifted off of my shoulders.

"Hey, Em," A voice says. I jump and almost fall off the swing, thinking it's a Soc. But when I look over, it's Steve Randle. I stop pumping my feet, slowing myself down to a stop.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"Just... wanted to make sure you're ok, I guess," He says. I don't get it. Why would he want to see if I'm ok? He hates me!

"Why?" I ask, completely emotionless. He shrugs.

"I guess just cuz we're going through the same thing, with Soda, I mean." I take a deep breath so I don't snap at him, but it comes out anyways.

"Oh, so Soda was your boyfriend too? The love of your life?" I ask him. He stares at me, stunned.

"N-no," he says after a minute. He looks hurt.

"But he was my best friend too, and I don't think I could live without him. He's the closest thing I have to family, and it's just not the same without him." Don't I know it. It's not the same. I want to sympathize with him, but I just can't.

Although rudely I say, "Don't try to make this all about yourself, Steve," I do feel bad.

"I'm not trying to make this about myself. I'm trying to help you," he mumbles. His words make me think about the rest of the gang. How do they feel right now? I mean, the only ones left in the gang are his brothers, Steve and Two-Bit. Maybe I have been overreacting, it is effecting his brothers and all, but it just hasn't been at all the same without Dally and Johnny since they died, and if we lost Sodapop too, it would set us all over the edge.

A/N: For some reason all of my successful fanfics end with the main character getting together with Steve and I have no clue why so I'm trying my best not to make that happen... But we'll see how it goes. Who do you want Emily to end up with, Soda or Steve? Leave some comments, please! I'd love to read them (: