Broken ||A Sodapop Curtis Love Story||

Chapter 6

*TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM*

Emily's POV:

"I love you, Emily," Steve says again, pulling me onto his lap without breaking the kiss. I sit there, kissing back, emotionless. Steve seems to be in heaven, though. The only thing running through my mind is the guilt. I'm sitting there with a guy who claims he loves me, and I have no feelings for him other than pure hatred.

"Do you love me?" He asks. I just nod and collide my lips back against his. But I don't love him. And it feels horrible to tell him that I do.

His arms pull me by my waist as close to his as possible, and ends with him lying on the ground, me on top of him. Soon, it gets heated, and I feel him going to take off my shirt.

"Steve!" I exclaim, moving away. He looks at me, wondering what he did wrong.

"I... I'm not ready yet," I admit. He nods, understanding, but still looks a little bit sad. For one thing, though, I'm only 15. I'm not ready for this kind of thing.

Two-Bit would murder Steve if he found out that he knocked me up. And anyways, I have a boyfriend. Sodapop, who's fighting for our country in Vietnam, and I'm sitting here kissing his best friend. I'm such a horrible person, I realize, tears forming in my eyes.

"Are you ok?" Steve asks me. I shake my head, saying no.

"I... I just gotta go home," I mumble, and run out of the Curtis' house without another word. We live pretty close to their house, so it doesn't take me too long to get back to Two-Bit's and my place.

For a minute I don't want to anything but go to bed, but then I feel guilty. Guilty for leaving Steve when he obviously wanted me, guilty for leading him on, and also... guilty for cheating on Soda when he's so far away and can't do anything about it. I'm a horrible person and I know it.

Before I even have time to think, I'm in the bathroom running a razor blade across my arm. I've never cut before. Tears from the pain steam down my face, but I keep going until I have a row of bloody, dripping cuts all the way to the crook of my elbow. It stings like hell, but I know I deserve it. I know I need to do this. It was horrible and wrong to do this to Steve and Soda and this is just my punishment. Soon, I start on the other arm. One cut, two cuts, three, four...

"Emmi?" I hear from outside the locked bathroom door.

"Y-yeah?" I ask quietly, stuttering a bit. I try to make my voice sound normal, not shaky like I've been crying.

"Are you in here, Em?" Two-Bit asks, knocking on the door. I look up for a second, and the razor blade digs into my skin a little harder than expected. I yelp in pain.

"Emily? I'm coming in!" He yells.

"No, Two-Bit. I'm... I'm fine," I call out. But I don't even believe myself. My voice sounds small and shaky and I can't make it any louder for the life of me. It's too much effort. It's getting harder and harder to stop cutting myself, subconsciously knowing how much I need to do this.

"Emily, you sound like you're crying. What's going on in there?" My brother calls to me. But I don't have time to answer, because suddenly I feel lightheaded. I sway a bit on my feet, but soon they give out. I feel myself falling, and hit my head off of our bathtub. Then, everything goes black.

A/N: Wow, that wasn't at all what I expected that chapter to be. 😂It's kinda short, too. I'm sorry. I hope it was ok, though, and it wasn't too painful. If there's anyone reading this that has suffered from the same kind of thing (cutting, depression, exc.) please don't hesitate to DM me if you need to talk! I'm almost always online and I'll try in any way I can to help you feel better. I care, ok? 😘 Have an amazing day and leave comments on how this chapter was? Thanks, love you guys!