Letters I'll Never Send

December 27, 2019 21:33

Hi, 

It's annoying that I still think of you from time to time. I still go to your account sometimes to maybe hopefully see how you are—even I know for a fact that you already have a lucky girl whom your heart has captured. I know to myself that I do not want to intervene with any relationships and really step aside, good bye. No more. But sometimes I still question what I feel for you. Damn it. Why? Okay, not your fault but—how to remove this feeling. I feel awful already.

I remembered that time when we saw each other at the mall. I was with my college best friend, and you were with her. And we said "hi", that's all. Friends do not say just that, I know. But why are we that awkward? Is it because I confessed before? Do you feel that I like you still? Seems like that friendship had been thrown off. But, I know I have been toxic to you then. 

I feel guilty confronting you after I ran then again in the club, knowing that the process is rigid and I am running under you. I am sorry. I know that that is the process but I was maybe overwhelmed with what I felt then having also the fact that I like/love you then. I am deeply deeply sorry. There might be any other more reasons and if those are enough for you to cut me off your life, it is fine. Absolutely. I would understand. 

Thank you for being so kind all these years, for always understanding me. I am so sorry. I am sorry for everything. I wish you happiness. I pray and hope that you are genuinely happy and if in the future I will not have any chance to hang nor speak with you, know that you will always have a piece in my heart. 

Thank you and I really am sorry.