Letters I'll Never Send

February 2018

February 12, 2018 00:13

I have been thinking of creating a playlist for you since time immemorial and so I started it weeks ago and it only have less than fifteen songs now. The Vamps has four songs, I think, and I am not yet exposed to new tunes since last year but well, I will figure it out and put all the songs that I could relate with you. I do not plan to let you know that that is for you but if you have come to notice again, then so be it (like these messages).

I can feel that I am embracing this feeling yet again and I need to sober from this so maybe I must drink later, my friend and I planned to, but I have classes this afternoon and I am stressed with all the things that is happening to me.

Well, anyways, good night, my love. 

February 14, 2018 00:18

Earlier, I kept having an urge to message you if you are free later but of course, thank God, I did not do that. It has been a week since we last saw each other but the memory is still vivid in my mind. I pray that our paths will cross later or maybe I just want to see you even from afar—that will be more than enough. Just that I'd be happy.

Happy valentine's day, love. Hope you'll have a good night.

February 17, 2018 8:10

The first thing I saw at twitter was your tweet. And I just kinda want to immediately ask what your thoughts were with me, your thoughts when I confessed, your thoughts when we were together, your thoughts with me. It is just that, I really want to know who I am to you and what are we. 

I will not push myself if there's no chance at all, I will accept it if it means that we will just be friends, sure, that is fine. I just really really really want to know my place because it is as if I am in the middle of a space where I do not know where to go nor to stay. It saddens me sometimes.

February 17, 2018 13:17

I remembered again, my friend told me that a lot of people were rooting for us and said that I should flirt with you but she told me that I am wholesome so it might be hard for me to do so. You see, I cannot flirt. What I show is genuine and are all from my sincerity. How do even one flirt with someone? I do not know!

Same old, I think I still have the right to know how you feel. But I know too, for a fact, that you have the right to not tell me. I really want to ask you but I do not know when is the right time to do that. 

February 24, 2017 7:53

Good morning, dear!

How are you feeling? Are you better now? I hope so.

I am on my way to school now and by the way, I got my glasses yesterday. I cannot believe I bought some glasses without any of my family members knowing. 

Last night, I saw you were online so I just scroll through our latest messages and I just—I felt—realized that I really love you. I don't know why. I just do.