Behind The Scenes

Sleepover at Sikowitz's & Beggin' on Your Knees

Sleepover at Sikowitz's

Beck pauses outside his door as he hears a noise. He unlocks the RV door cautiously and pokes his head inside. The someone is Jade and the noise is her sobbing.

He pushes through the door and it slams behind him without care for the fact that it's 4am. He rushes towards the bed. "Jade, what's wrong?" She shifts slightly and he catches sight of the bandages on her hand. "Is it your hand? Is that from the pan? Did you go to the emergency room?" She's sobbing too hard to answer any of his questions. He should never have stayed at Sikowitz's. Or he should have called her, made sure she was okay. He lets the guilt swirl inside his gut, but he knows. He knows that this has nothing to do with her hand or the acting challenge.

He stands up and pulls his tweed jacket and pulls off his uncomfortable shoes. He climbs into the bed behind Jade. She rolls over and buries her face into his chest. Her fingers curl into his dress shirt and he's pretty sure a button might pop off under that much strain, but he just kisses her head and runs his fingers through her hair. "I'm right here, okay? You're not alone."

She cries for another two hours. There's no point in trying to talk to her because she can't even slow down enough to breathe. Once her sobs turn to whimpers and her breathing only hitches occasionally, he kisses her forehead and squeezes her hand before getting up. He unbuttons his shirt as he walks into the bathroom. He leaves it in the hamper and grabs a couple pills from the cabinet. He walks over to the fridge and grabs a water bottle on his way back to his bed. Jade is still curled up in a ball. "Hey," he whispers. Her eyes glance up to his face. "Take these, okay?" He puts the Advil and water on the ledge above the bed when it looks like Jade might be unwinding from her ball.

He turns away from her to take off his dress pants and grab a pair of sweatpants from his closet. Comfortable enough, he walks back over to his bed and climbs in behind a once again curled up Jade. He presses himself against her back and props his head up on his arm, so he can see part of her face. He lazily drags his nails up and down Jade's arm hoping it'll help her relax enough to fall asleep.

His hopes don't last long because soon enough her breathing starts to get faster and he can feel her shaking against him. Sometimes she can fall asleep and sometimes the thoughts in her head are too much. "I'm here, okay? I'm here." He kisses her shoulder and then the top of her head. "Let's play a game. How about last letter?" Beck drags his hand up and down her arm as he waits. She's still shaking, but it's not as bad as it was earlier. "It's my turn to go first. I choose movies, okay? Ghost."

She doesn't say anything. She's silent so long that if he had been anyone else, he would have been severely uncomfortable. But he knows her, so he waits. The shaking starts to come in waves and then he hears her gravelly voice say, "The Scissoring."

Beck chuckles and places a kiss on her shoulder. "That does not count."

He feels her nod. "Does too."

"Fine, but just this once." That's a lie. They only play this game when she can't stop crying, so he'll never enforce any of the rules or count points because this isn't about winning. It's about drowning out the voices in her head. It's about getting her through the night. "Grease."

__________________

Beggin' on Your Knees

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because."

"Because..." Jade drawls.

Beck sighs and reaches for the remote. He pauses the show they're watching and turns to look at his girlfriend. "Because assholes like that are the reason you don't believe me when I say I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh."

Beck watches her, but she makes no move to say anything else, so he presses play and turns his attention back to their show. Beck feels a small smile touch his lips as Jade moves close enough to drape her legs over his lap. He lets his hand fall to her thigh and immediately starts drawing shapes. This is enough for him. She doesn't have to be the best at words or feelings, she just has to be committed to their relationship.