Behind The Scenes

A Christmas Tori

Jade glances around the RV. "You don't want me to stay?" She hasn't been here as often because of the cricket, but the cricket was gone now.

Beck can hear the fear in her voice, but he's too tired to do this with her. "I just want to sleep, Jade. It's not about you."

"You can't sleep with me here?" Jade crosses her arms and takes a step away from Beck.

"No, that's not- I just- Jade, I love you, but I also haven't slept in weeks and all I want to do is crawl into bed."

"So? Let's go to bed."

Beck groans as he sits down on his bed and covers his face with his hands. "Jade, please-"

"Please what? I'm not doing anything wrong."

"I never said-"

"You didn't have to. You don't want me anymore."

Beck's eyes snap up to her's. "What? No. I want you. I love you." Beck watches as Jade's body softens the tiniest bit. "This has just been a really awful week and I'm tired."

"You keep saying that."

"Well, you're not listening to me!" Beck groans as he stands up. "I can't do this with you right now. My parents-" Beck takes a deep breath. Now is not the time. "I've had a horrid week and I haven't slept in god knows how long. And now? Now I'm standing here fighting with my girlfriend when all I want is to sleep. Do you get that? I don't have the energy to make you feel better right now. I need to sleep for at least 12 hours and then I need to do something fun, relaxing. I'll probably call Andre, see if he wants to hang out, talk about nothing, Maybe we'll all get together at Tori's and watch movies. And then I'm going to come home and go to sleep early. That's what I need right now, okay? I need to be a teenager whose biggest worry is what I got on my midterms." Beck takes a ragged breath as he finally looks at Jade.

She's shaking. "None of that includes me." Beck watches as she blinks away tears. "You resent me."

"I didn't say that." He doesn't want to fight with her anymore. He doesn't have the energy.

"But it's true. Look at us." She gestures to the RV around them. "I keep you locked away in here all day, every day. You have to beg me to go out, to see our friends. You make me eat and do my laundry. You listen to me cry and talk me through panic attacks." She brings her hand to her mouth and makes a choking sound. "God, I'm not even your girlfriend anymore."

Beck shakes his head as he tries to follow her thoughts. They're spiraling so quickly he can't even process them. "Of course you are."

"I'm just someone you take care of."

"No." Yes. But not the way she means it. He loves her, he wants to be with her. That's why he takes care of her. It's not out of some obligation or pity or whatever it is that she's implying. "You take care of me too. We take care of each other. That's what a relationship is."

Jade shakes her head. "No, I don't. Not anymore."

He wants to refute her statement. Prove to them both that she's putting just as much into their relationship as he is, but it's not true and it hasn't been for a while and he can't lie to her. "Jade, I- Can we please talk about this later?"

Jade wipes away her tears. She nods jerkily. "You need to sleep. I'm just going to-" Jade picks up her bag from the floor at her feet. She walks over to him and kisses him on the cheek. "I'll talk to you at school." She tries to make a quick escape, but Beck grabs her hand and turns her around.

He rubs his thumb over her hand. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" There's no reason for them to wait until Monday to talk at school. "I'll call you before I meet Andre." Jade refuses to meet his eyes. "Hey," Beck seeks out her eyes. "This isn't about you, okay? I just need some time for me." Jade nods jerkily and tries to pull her hand away. Beck tightens his grip. He can see that she's not listening to him. She's taking this as a rejection of her and their relationship. "Maybe you can call Cat. She misses you." Beck makes a note to text Cat before he goes to bed. Jade will never reach out to her, so he'll make sure Cat does.

Jade pulls hard and her hand slips from his. "I'll see you Monday." And then she's gone.