Behind The Scenes

Wok Star

Beck glances around the almost empty hallway. He's waiting for Jade at her locker, but she's late. He notices a commotion in the janitor's closet. He peaks his head inside and sees Jade sitting on the ground cutting up a trash can.

He bites his tongue as he listens to Jade rant about her father coming to see her play. He doesn't like Mr. West. He's never liked Mr. West. Dislike is too weak a word for what he feels towards his girlfriend's father. But if he shared his thoughts in the janitor's closet, in the middle of the school day, with all of their friends surrounding them, he might not have a girlfriend at the end of the day.

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Beck watches as Jade anxiously paces the length of his RV. He's been laying in bed, ready to go to sleep, watching her for the last hour and a half. She's talking, but she's not talking to him. She's just talking to talk. It's an attempt to keep her anxiety under control. Despite how ineffectual it appears, the talking and the pacing and the general obsessing over whatever is making her anxious does work to an extent.

Today she is obsessing about her play and her father coming to see her play. They've worked out a plan and everyone is clear on their parts, even Cat, so there shouldn't be any issues tomorrow. However, sometimes their life feels like some kid's comedy show, so who knows how tomorrow will actually go. "You know, he doesn't have to come."

She stops pacing and looks at him. It's almost like she forgot he was there. "He said he was coming. Do you think he won't show?"

"No. I just..." Beck sits up in the bed."I'm just saying that he doesn't have to come. You don't have to let him come. Your play is going to be amazing, whether he's in the audience or in a meeting in Paris because you are fucking talented."

"What's your point?" There's an edge to Jade's tone. On any other day, she would be the first one to say that her dad is an asshole and that he can whine about how ungrateful she is somewhere else. But there are some days, like today, when she wants his approval. She wants to feel normal and loved unconditionally by her family. These days have been more frequent since Tori entered their lives.

"My point is that you are talented and you produce thought-provoking, entertaining material and he...." Beck takes a deep breath. "He's an ass. He's not just an absentee father, he manipulates you, he says horrible things..."

"I didn't tell you about it so that you could use it against me."

"I'm not."

"That's what it feels like."

Beck runs his fingers through his hair. He's exhausted. It's 2am and the last thing he wants to do is get into a fight with Jade. "He's abusive." But he can't let this go.

"Oh my god."

Beck shakes his head. "He is. And you know he is. You've told me that he's abusive."

Jade whips around to glare at him. "I never told you he hits me."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Beck waits, but she doesn't say anything. "You're a human being. I know that you don't feel like one most of the time, but you are. And you deserve to be treated like one." Beck waits for her to yell at him or storm out, but she just turns off the lights and crawls into bed. She shakes off his touch when he tries to put an arm around her. The rejection feels like a punch to the gut, but he doesn't want to make things worse, so he retreats to his side of the bed.

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Beck turns the engine off and his truck goes silent. Jade is sitting silently next to him. She hasn't said a word since he picked her up from the theater. Tori seemed excited and proud when they all met up. She said that Jade's dad loved it.

"Are we going inside or sitting out here all night?" Beck glances up at the sound of her voice, but her expression is unreadable.

"Do you want to go inside?" Jade rolls her eyes as she gets out. She slams the passenger door before stomping into his RV. He takes a few seconds to himself before following her.

"So how did it go?"

"Didn't you hear Tori?"

"I don't care what Tori thought."

Jade pauses in her search for her pajamas to glance at him. "Do we have to act out a romcom tonight?" Jade continues to dig through his drawers. "I'm tired. I don't want to-"

"Stop." She's not listening to him, not even pretending to hear him as she keeps talking. "Stop," he yells. "We're going to fucking do this. We're going to talk about your dad and if this whole fucking night was worth it. I need to know."

Jade finally stands up and faces him, her hands on her hips. "What is wrong with you?"

"Was it worth it?"

"He said he liked it."

Beck clenches his jaw. "Was it worth it?"

"Stop asking me that. What does that even mean?"

"It means that I fucking missed the only night of your play so that he could sit in that audience and give you his approval so that you could feel loved by him. And now I want to know if it was worth it. I want to know that I missed your play, that I didn't get to sit there and kiss you afterward and tell you how much better it was in real life than in my head for a damn good reason. So was it worth it?" Jade meets his glare with steel behind her eyes.

"No." Nothing changes with that admission. She doesn't cry or deflate or get angry. She just stands there.

"No?"

"It didn't feel like anything. His approval didn't feel like anything."

Beck nods. "Okay." He runs his fingers through his hair as Jade returns to digging through his drawers. "They're in the hamper."

"Why are they in there?" Jade grouchily calls on her way to the bathroom. "It's not laundry day."

Beck looks around his RV. "My mom must have picked up." Beck steps out of his jeans and pulls off his shirt.

Jade's head pops out of the bathroom. "She what?" Beck gestures to the room around him. Nothing is on the floor. Clothing is folded on the couch. "I thought we-"

"We did." Beck walks in behind her and reaches for his toothbrush.

Jade finishes pulling her tank top on. "Then what was she doing in here?" Beck shrugs through a mouth full of toothpaste. He spits and rinses his toothbrush off so that Jade can brush her teeth.

"I'll talk to her again, okay?" Jade nods. He stares at her in the mirror. "I'm sorry. I wish I had been there."

Jade spits out the toothpaste and looks back up at him through the mirror. "Me too."