Behind The Scenes

Tori Tortures Teacher

Beck watches as Jade slams the car door behind her. "So how did it go?"

"Fine." Jade slouches into her seat and stares out the window.

"What did you talk about?"

Jade looks over to Beck. "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to ask me that."

Beck runs his fingers through his hair. "Well, give me something. You've been going to therapy for a month and I feel like I know nothing about it." Jade had been oddly quiet about the whole ordeal and he didn't know what to make of it.

Jade rests her head against the back of the seat as she studies the roof of Beck's truck. "It's fine. She's fine. It's all fine."

"Do you feel like it's helping?" Jade shrugs. "Jade." They were supposed to be in this together. They're a team and the only way they've even made it this far was because she was open with him. If she'd just closed off with no explanation, he's not sure he could have stayed with her despite how much he loves her. But she didn't. She let him in and she can't just shut him out now.

"I don't get how therapy is supposed to work."

Beck blinks as he tries to catch up with her. "What?"

"I go in, talk for an hour about who knows what, and then I leave. How is that supposed to fix me?"

"It's not supposed to fix you. You're not broken." Jade rolls her eyes. She's definitely broken. "It's supposed to help."

"Yeah but how?" Jade watches Beck. "Everyone keeps saying that, but I don't see it."

Beck pauses as he tries to figure out the right answer. Truth be told, he doesn't know a lot about therapy. It's just something he knows you do. "Well, it- um- helps you with coping methods. And you know dealing."

"I'm coping on my own."

Beck mutters under his breath, "Not well."

"She says slow down, reflect, practice mindfulness." Her impression of her therapist is only a coin toss away from her Tori impression. Normally, he would be amused, but with this. "I already do that. You know I do that through my writing. And she wants me to drink tea and warm milk and take melatonin."

"You don't like tea or milk."

Jade throws her arms in the air. "I know." Finally, someone who believes her. The therapist had demonstrated quite well through her disapproving stare that she thought Jade was just being difficult.

"Why does she want you to take melatonin?"

"For my sleep." Jade huffs as she puts her feet up. "It's this pill that's triggered by light and sunset and it'll make me sleepy."

"Okay, we can pick some up at CVS." Her sleep hasn't been that bad lately, but his stomach still knots up when he remembers how she used to disappear in the middle of the night.

"I don't want it." Beck groans and drops his head against the seat. "I don't want to take something to make me sleep. I don't like it." Jade pulls scissors out of her boot. "I don't even take Nyquil PM."

"I know, but you have to at least try."

"I'm going, aren't I?"

Beck resists the urge to sigh. When Jade had originally agreed to therapy a couple months ago, he'd been ecstatic. But nothing had come of it and he wasn't sure what to do. Everyone always said the way to get better was to get help, go to therapy. Well, she did, now what? "Do you even say anything or do you just sit there in silence?"

"I talk." Beck gives her a disbelieving look. "What am I supposed to talk about? What do you even accomplish one hour every week? You go in and you inevitably end up summarizing what happened since your last appointment, then you leave. You end up talking about nothing. What good does that do?" What part of talking to a complete stranger is going to make her not depressed? She gets seeing a psychologist for a diagnosis, she gets going to a psychiatrist for medication. But therapy? Therapy makes no sense.

"Babe-"

"I'm hungry and I really want a coffee, so can we stop with the guilt trip and interrogation?" She's tired, depression tired. She needs to read a book or watch a show because if she has to live in her own head any longer, she's going to spiral.

Beck leans back as he studies his girlfriend. That wasn't his intention. He just wants her to get help. And he wants to be a part of that process. "Fine."

Beck starts the engine and pulls out of the parking lot. He doesn't say anything the rest of the drive and neither does she. He wants to help and he wants her to get better, but he gets whiplash from it all. One day, she's clinging to him and the next she can't push him away fast enough. What is he supposed to do?