The Way Back To You

Chapter 27

A L E X

She's caught me staring at her twice now. I made a promise two days ago to steer clear of her and here I am watching her like a creep.

I guess I'm the stalker now.

The thought amuses me and my lips quirk up in a smile which quickly disappears when I remind myself that I have to stop doing that. I don't even know why I'm so involved with April. Well, actually no, that's not entirely true. It started at the urgent care, with her brother, with too many coincidences, with her caring enough to check up on me and then meeting her again months later at high school.

I'm pretty sure that stuff constitutes some sort of mutual understanding, so no she's not a stranger to me. We're "friends." I think. I can't completely avoid her. And yet I need to try.

The bell rings for the second time of the day and I mechanically get to my feet and shove my books into my bag, trying to blank out my thoughts before they consume me. Clearing my mind like its a slate is something I've gotten very good at. If I were a weaker person maybe all the things people say about me would affect me. Maybe I wouldn't be able to hold my own and probably wouldn't even be alive right now.

So it's good that I have this skill and make it through each day, although I will admit it's led me to a disconnect from reality.

Which is obvious when I stumble right into the person I was telling myself to avoid just moments ago.

At first I don't even realize it. Her shoulders bump into my arm before she grabs it and shoves me  into a different hallway, eyes shimmering and jaw set. I slowly come to and clear my throat, trying to come up with an excuse and act like everything is okay. She doesn't need to know I'm avoiding her.

"Hey. I saw you talking to that girl. Been taking my advice?"

This throws her off guard for a second and she looks confused before nodding and crossing her arms, shifting her weight to one foot and blocking an exit down the hall we just walked through. I can tell this isn't going to be a short conversation.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did, but that's not why I want to talk to you."

I sigh, shake my head, and shove my hands down my pockets, trying my best to look nonchalant. I probably look like a douchebag, it's what everyone says and they're not wrong. At least not entirely.

"Okay, what is it then?"

I try to sound bored and impatient, like the bell and my next class actually mean something to me. But she's not an idiot and she knows they don't, so she's going to keep me here and continue this interrogation until she gets the answers I'm not ready to give up.

"I saw you in the parking lot. And you turned around? And then you ran away from me earlier today? I thought we made it clear at Cherry Cabin that you don't need to worry about me trying to pay back my debts or whatever. If that's the reason you've been ignoring me, unless there's something I did that I don't know about."

I widen my eyes by a fraction before masking my expression into one of indifference, almost annoyance. I'm so good at this I almost scare myself.

"No I know that. We made it clear on Friday. I guess I've just been avoiding you so I don't have to talk to you."

She furrows her brow and looks around, laughing as she does, as if expecting me to laugh with her and tell her I'm joking. How I wish I could.

"What do you mean? You're acting like I'm forcing you to talk to me. I just want to know why you're avoiding me. I thought we were friends."

She says the word awkwardly, as if she's only now starting to doubt it. And I wish I could correct her and tell her she shouldn't. I'm about to do as much until I remember my Dad, his face fresh in memory, and then Harper, her's so lucid I feel like she's right in front of me. Like she's replaced April and her eyes are boring into mine accusatorially, blaming me for everything that happened.

April snaps her fingers in front of my face and I shake my head, coming to. This isn't Harper. It's April. But if I let her get as close to me as Harper did, she'll turn into her and I can't let that happen so I act like I don't care.

"We're not. I saved your brother and you helped me out and I agreed to see him out of guilt, not because we're friends. I went to Cherry Cabin, saved your ass, and acted all nice out of obligation. And I thought it would be over now. So, if I could please be left alone?"

My words have stunned her. Her face contracts and her mouth opens in an 'o' and before she says something that makes me feel like shit I push past her and move through the halls.

She catches up to me, breathing hard and I know it's not because of the run.

"You're being bi-polar. You've helped me and saved me and now your ignoring me and telling me I'm making things up, but no. You said we were friends. At the cabin? And right now you're the only person I know whose life isn't completely crazy and I like talking to you and I know you don't actually like being left alone because you said as much and the only reason you're even alone in the first place is because people make things up about you. And right now I'm the only person in this whole school who doesn't hate you so if you could please stop lying and tell me why you're actually being this weird, I'd appreciate it."

She pauses and looks at me, hair flying away from her face and eyebrows arched. It makes it hard to breathe for a second because she reminds me so much of Ariana and it's not even physical.

It takes me a while to come up with any coherent thought and in those moments she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, grounding herself in the middle of the hallway with people surging past us.

"I'm not leaving you alone. I don't know what makes you think you need to isolate yourself in the first place, but I'm not letting you do it."

I still don't respond to her. I guess I'm still in a minor state of shock and she's the only one who can put me in this position.

In my silence, her eyes drop to my arm and her expression changes as if she remembers something. To my surprise, she smiles and shrugs her shoulders, backing away as if she knows something I don't.

"I'm not leaving you alone either way. See, you still need to tell me what that skull tattoo is and why it scared that guy from the party. You also need to tell me why you drive a car when you have no home, and you need to explain the entire van situation. It is where you live, isn't it?"

I don't answer and she scoffs.

"I'm still your stalker Alexander."

She walks away and all I see is the back of her blouse and a tangle of flames.

How the hell am I supposed to get rid of her now?