The Way Back To You

Chapter 31

A P R I L

I spent today's lunch period in the bathroom with my tray balanced over my knees and an apple bitten down to the core lying forgotten just beneath the base of the toilet. Not an ideal location, but I'm not ready to face whatever turmoil my friends have stuck themselves into.

I don't want to get involved in their needless drama, and quite frankly, I have enough of my own shit to contend with, thank you very much.

I grab my fork, holding my phone with the other hand and repositioning myself against the lid. As I swipe up on my feed I catch a glimpse of my nails, still dotted with crimson and cringe. I think of how badly wounded Alex must have been, to have blood spilling out from his head like that. I  wouldn't have even known if my fingers hadn't been in contact with the base of his head. His hair covered it up so well.

I wonder how long it would have taken for him to tell me if I hadn't figured it out on my own. It's probably why he hasn't been speaking to me. Suppressed anger. I'm sure he doesn't mean to but he subconsciously blames me and he's not wrong for it.

I know I should get over it and he says all is forgiven on my end, but I can't help but feel the guilt bubble up to the surface. Those guys were after me. They would have...Done whatever they do their "victims" and by helping me all he managed to achieve was take my place.

And I had the nerve to blame him for it.

All the other times he intervened on my behalf, all I managed to do was find some way to make it his fault.

A new wave of nausea makes itself present and I feel like throwing up then and there. 

If something happens with those guys I will never forgive myself. 

I set down my phone and the half eaten tray on the floor, burying my face in my hands. I resolve to find him in the parking lot later and make him tell me the truth. What happened, exactly? What's he going to do to make sure he stays safe?

Fuck Cherry Cabin. I know it's just an excuse to turn the topic away from what he knows I really want to talk about.

At that very moment, the girl occupying the stall next door flushes, snapping me out of my thoughts. I slowly climb off of the lid from which I was perched and throw the apple core away.

 I shouldn't make eating in the bathroom a habit.

                                                                                ...

The final bell rings, the ding reverberating through the halls. I gather my books and shove them haphazardly into my open bag, shoving my desk aside melodramatically and exiting the classroom.

I make my way to the front doors, jaw locked and gaze set. I can see Alex's Volkswagen through the glass doors, and I'm going to stand in front of it until he explains himself. I deserve that much...

He's not there yet, but Mason's Honda is parked nearby and he watches as I turn and lean against the car's fender.

I see him hesitate before opening his car and watch him walk towards me out of the corner of my eye. So much for avoiding drama.

"Hey-April."

"What is it?"

He stops, unsure of what to say and as if only starting to realize that he slows down and slides his hands into his pockets.