The Way Back To You

Chapter 26

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A P R I L

It's been a couple of days since I last saw Alex at the smoothie shop. Since I last spoke to him, even. Come to think of it, it's been a while since I've spoken to any of my friends at all. Mason is avoiding me, not because he's mad, but because he doesn't want to talk about what's happened. Quinn is avoiding me for obvious reasons and Charity is probably just keeping to herself.

I spent the weekend with my family. Not my parents, obviously, who never seem to be home, but Yvonne and Ethan. I remember Alex promising me he'd come over one day. Even though Ethan doesn't know him very well, probably doesn't even remember his face, I think meeting him will be therapeutic. 

He's a reserved kid. He has no issues academically, but socially he's always been a little awkward. Not around us, people he's grown up with and knows, but the other kids he goes to school with. There's not a single person outside his family he can be comfortable around.

I'm hoping Alex can change that. It's the reason I want him to come over. The only reason.

I sigh and press my back against the car seat, which has been parked with the engine purring in the lot for a couple of minutes now. I'm at school, about to see all the people who don't want to talk to me and try to make amends with everyone I've messed things up with.

I pause for a beat and remind myself that it wasn't my fault. It's just like what Alex said. It wasn't me and all I have to do today is be someone for everyone to come and vent to.

Oh god help me.

I unbuckle my seatbelt, smooth out my blouse, and step out of the car. I see Alex's Volkswagen parked nearby and then quirk my head. He doesn't own a house? Lives in a van? But owns a car?

I move towards the tinted window and peer inside to see if he's sitting there. It's empty and the only evidence it even belongs to someone is the worn out cover over the steering wheel, proof he's been holding onto it too hard and scratching the leather. Something I do as well.

Other than that, however, the car is in pristine condition. Like it could be for sale at full price. I make a mental note to ask him about it later and then turn in the opposite direction to see Alex standing by the glass front doors. He's caught me ogling at his car but his face is expressionless. I should be embarrassed, he should be laughing. He should be walking towards me right now and making a joke about me being his personal stalker.

But I'm not embarrassed and he does none of that, doesn't even acknowledge me, but I know he saw me. Instead, he turns, pushes open the doors, and walks into school.

I stand there shell-shocked for a second, wondering if there was a possibility that he didn't see me after all. But there's no way. We made eye contact and everything.

I'm a little put off by it but shrug anyway and move towards the school myself, catching the end of the door and moving through the hallways.

I put him out of my mind for a few moments and think about what I'll do when I run into someone I know. I've been considering the possibilities and preparing what to say for each one of my friends and suddenly my palms are getting sweaty and the world is tilting. 

I should not be this shook up. I did nothing wrong. There's no reason I should be scared, no one's mad at me. It's just the anxiety talking.