"Baby boy we are both lost causes, you can't break what's already destroyed."
In which two polar opposite yet broken boys meet at a beat down hotel, forming a confusing yet infatuating bond in the process
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"Breathing is hard. When you cry so much, it makes you realize breathing is hard."- David Levithan
Third person "Kairi get over here!" Yelled Kairi's father from the lobby office. The seventeen year old slowly walked over to him,seeing he was grabbing his keys from the desks. He followed his movements waiting for what he was going to say.
"I'm leaving for awhile so you'll be running the hotel with your mom for a week." He said completely ignoring his son, looking ahead.
"Okay." Kairi mumbled helplessly shifting his eyes to the floor.
The seventeen year old didn't bother asking him where he was going, he already knew. He left weeks at a time to go see other women. His mom knew as well but she didn't confront him about it. Kairi knew the truth hurt her too much. He hated seeing his mother hurting, one of the reasons he despised his father. His excuse was seeing his friends. Pathetic but Kairi didn't really care, some things he got used to. He didn't have the energy to care anymore.
"Get to the register now." His father instructed walking past him without another word. Kairi stood silently for a moment before dragging himself to the register.
He pulled up his sleeve inspecting the scars that ran along his forearm. He frowned, tracing his fingers along them. He slightly winced as his finger ran across a fresh one. He quickly pulled his sleeve down seeing his mom approaching. She smiled at me weakly as he mirrored her.
"I'm going out to get some food my boy, I will be back." She said making him nod his head and pull out his wallet. He heard his moms voice stop him.
"Your dad gave me money, I've got it Kai." She spoke wearily. He frowned feeling upset. His father barely gave them money. Even though they ran the hotel as a family. Kairi was lucky enough to get money in the first place, it wasn't much but it enough for both his mom and him. He didn't mind wearing the same clothes a lot, as long as they were clean and in tact. He made sure to put his mom before anything, she was all he had.
She was the only thing keeping him from ending it all.
"Just take it in case." He urged holding out his wallet. His mom looked at him with guilt not being able to say no to her son. She sighed taking the wallet from his hands.
"I love you Kai, I'll be back." She smiled momentarily before leaving the small hotel. Once she was gone Kairi was alone once again, the silence eating him up. The hotel was almost always vacant, no one ever walking through the doors to rent out a room. It wasn't luxurious nor was it anyone's first choice of stay. It was beat down and old, a small bathroom and an old television in each room.So Kairi understood why the hotel was unsuccessful but his Father didn't. He didn't really care to tell him either, it was a waste of his breath.
Kairi had a love hate relationship with silence. It left him alone with his own thoughts that weren't pleasant in the slightest. If anyone were to hear his thoughts they'd tell him to get professional help immediately, get rid of the demons that corrupted his mind. Which was why the boy never expressed his feelings, he kept them in a cage. That way they were safe from the world judging him or treating him like he wasn't normal. Which he probably wasn't or at least that's what he thought.
Other times the silence calmed him. Whenever it was too loud Kairi seemed to panic, his anxiety taking control. He also suffered from extreme panic disorder that recurred whenever he was under stress or when he thought of her. His father often got angry at him for it, like he could help it.
He felt the familiar feeling of grief creep up as he spun around in his chair. He tried to distract himself with playing with his bracelet, he pulled at his hair when the feeling didn't leave.
"Fuck." He mumbled as his mind when into a state of frenzy. He felt his heart start pounding as the feeling of reality went in and out. The familiar sound of screaming made Kairi want to crawl in a ball and detach himself from the world.
"Stop stop stop stop I'm sorry." He carelessly repeated over and over wanting the screaming to come to an end. It eventually did, a chill running down the fragile boys body. He slowly let go of his hair feeling out of breath and exhausted. He wiped away the sweat on his forehead, pulling off his hoodie. He took a shaky inhale trying his hardest to keep his tears in.
"I miss you, I'm sorry." He whispered under his breath, his eyes filling with tears. He stared blankly at the white bland wall feeling a single tear run down his face. He blinked causing several tears to stream down, his vision now complete blurry. He sobbed silently, not bothering to wipe away his tears. He was too exhausted, from his own thoughts that he couldn't get rid of.
My baby😢 If you didn't catch on he was having a panic attack which I struggle with myself, they are scary and very exhausting depending on how severe it is hence the detail. Mattia might be in the next chapter I'm not sure yet but vote and comment if you like this book so far ❤️
